Examine Your Zipper

X
Xerescaping.

Y
Yoga, yogurt, yellow-bellied sapsucker, and yurt.

Z
Zoology, zebra, and zither.

And that concludes the Alphablog.

Reason to Celebrate

As I sit here in my house pants with my chai tea and look out the window at some birds, I am pretty sure that my friend Damon is on his way home from his service in Iraq. He was due to head home today after a long and scary caravan to Baghdad. I think he has to spend a little de-briefing time in Oklahoma, and then he'll be back in Dallas where he belongs.

I am still fighting the sick. I feel I am operating at about 70%. But, I am not officially sick. No time for sick.

I am craving warm fruit cobbler something fierce.

READER POLL (please participate): If someone said to you, "I haven't left the house for several days," what is the first number that would come to your mind as the number of days "several" implies? Thanks!

How You Can Help Support House Bands!

If any of you guys are bored at work or home, here is something fun to do. Go to:

www.nowhereradio.com

It is a website for amateur or independent musicians and housebands and if you go there you can listen to people's songs. Some of them are pretty good. If you want, you can even listen to the Palo Pinto House Pants House Band, by plugging "pphphb" in the search and then going to discography, and if lots of people listen to our songs, they might end up on the charts at nowhere radio! That would be cool. So if everyone at your work seems in need of some cheering up, you could put on a little "Otra Parte" and get some dancin' going on, or if you feel nostalgic and want to kick it old skool, play "Sock Monkey Man" for some good fun. Or check out other's people's stuff, because you might find something you like.

Your choices for playing songs are lo-fi, hi-fi, and download. Lo-fi doesn't sound great, but if you play it hi-fi, the songs are real skippy. Of course you can always download them too, and that would maybe be best. Have fun and thanks for supporting housebands!

Dubya

Whale, wine, winter, wildlife, walk, White Rock Lake, Winged Migration, wedding, watermelon.

Taking Action and Random Stuff for Thursday

This morning, I filled in some of the more rational questions on the survey from the Democrats, and added in the "comments" section that I was troubled by the tone of the survey and mission statement. I mailed it in with no financial contribution. Do you think it will be read and counted? Or do you think they throw away the ones with no money?

Then I sent a small contribution to Alaskan wildlife via Robert Redford and his nice organization.

I kept the PETA nickel, and plan to put it in the next SPCA collection box I see.

Diane Rehm had on some people from the Westminster dog show today. They kept calling it a sport.

I am troubled by North Korea. Kev says I should stop reading the news every day. I think he is beaten down by my troubledness (troubledism? troubledocity?) and my desire to watch a little network TV now and then.

Valentine's day is silly. But it's a good excuse to go to a nice restaurant.

The brown-headed cow birds have taken over my yard. I am going to change the kind of seed in my feeders.

I have a throat tickle again, but this one isn't like the others. The others were annoying, but this one is downright painful. Still, I think it is more of an allergy feeling than a "I'm getting the flu" feeling. I hope so. Anyway, the fight against sick continues.

My parents keep their house at a ridiculously low temperature. That is where I am now, and I am freezing. At least I get to hang out with Albert over here. He is good and smart and much more sporty than the dog show dogs.

Be Careful Who You Help

As many of you know, I am a proud member of KERA, the Sierra Club, Audubon Dallas, and the National Parks. Unfortunately, I have now been pegged as someone who cares about stuff, and my name and address have been sold to people who target people who care about stuff in order to solicit money to help them with stuff they care about. It's not unusual for me to get two or three mailings a week from the tree people, or the ocean people, or the sick children people, etc. Today, when I arrived home and looked at my mail, I found I had received solicitations from PETA, Robert Redford, and the Democratic National Headquarters. They all want my signature, opinions, and most of all my money.

PETA sent me a nickel, which is supposed to somehow remind me of animal cruelty. I am now either supposed to keep the nickel and be reminded, or return the nickel with my hot animal cruelty opinions and some more money. This is a ridiculous tactic which I think is supposed to make me feel guilty. I love animals, but I think the PETA people are a little over the top. I am keeping the nickel, and I am throwing away the free address labels, as I don't think I want to be associated with this organization. I hope they don't try to teach me a lesson by putting a dead cat on my lawn or something. I wonder how many dollars worth of nickels they spent in this campaign.

How the Democrats got my name, I have no idea. I am not a Democrat, nor am I a Republican. But somehow, the Dems think I am on board and so they sent me a survey about my thoughts on the State of the Union. First, they stated their mission:
" ...We must hold the line against the radical, mean-spirited agenda of George W. Bush and forcefully assert positive policies to improve the lives of all Americans..."

Then, the survey questions are so ridiculous and one-sided. Example: How important is the support of people like you to the efforts of Democrats in Congress to block Bush's radical agenda? Do you support the Republican-led Congress giving President Bush the authority to increase America's debt levels and run us further into the red? Do you believe President Bush should be stopped from taking over the world with his evil plans?

OK, so I made up that last one, but that was the feeling I got from the survey. Then they asked for money. It made me mad. Now, I disagree with the current administration on SEVERAL issues, but I don't think it is a good sign for possible compromises in congress when the opposing party is calling the president mean-spirited in official printed materials. I hate politics. The right is too far right, and the left is too far left. So the creepy Nancy Pelosi's attempt to get my money is failed too.

That leaves Robert Redford, spokesperson for the Natural Resources Defence Council. Mr. Redford has asked me to please help the Polar Bears, and Caribou, and various birds and so forth by signing a petition and sending money to assist in the effort to stop a policy that would allow oil drilling on Alaska's north coast. I have been reading up on this issue, and it is very important to me. So I have decided to send in a few dollars plus PETA's freaky nickel in an effort to help. The thing is, I have been looking for a way to help this cause anyway. So they were getting my help with or without the mailing.

I don't really know what my point is. I mean, I like getting mail. And I like helping stuff I care about. But I don't like the gigantic guilt-trips and the fact that my name has made it around the bleeding heart circuit and now everybody wants a piece. Ugh. I am more and more disappointed in humans every day.

LRHS News for Wednesday

First of all, a belated Happy Mardi Gras to everyone. We celebrated by Kev making Gumbo, which was awesome. This is one of his specialities, but he has never made it for me, because of my selective palate. I was mostly concerned about the presence of green bell peppers, but Kev assured me that they would mellow out in the cooking process and take on the flavors of the herbs and spices and other ingredients. I was suspicious, but dang-it if he wasn't right! It was a fabulous meal, and the best news is that we get to have more tomorrow night, and there was enough to freeze for sometime in the future. I like gumbo!

Today when I was reading about some monkeys in Bolivia on CNN.com, I found out that for $689, I can become a certified wildlife conservationist by taking a course at home! Plus they throw in your very own Swiss Army Knife and Compass! I might just do it. This could be the career change I have been looking for.

Wouldn't you know it though, things are picking up at work. I just started a new client, and have three more new possible clients in the works. How will I have time to become an assistant park ranger or wilderness guide?

I made a list and discovered that without leaving my property, I have seen 20 different kinds of birds in 2005. I will spare you the list, but I reckon that's a pretty good cound just for yard birds.

Another possibility I have considered is becoming a consierge. Kev just laughs at me, but I think it would be fun to stand at a podium and recommend to people good restaurants and fun things to do.

Have you guys heard about this Limewire thing where you pay a small fee like $28 for a lifetime subsription and then you can download all kinds of free music forever and it's legal?

Well, time to go to work now. Enjoy the Wednesday.

New Good Blog Alert

If you are interested in biscuits and gravy and Garland, and even if you aren't, then have I got a blog for you! I know, I know, after the whole horseheadfairyland thing, you all think I am crying wolf, and that you'll go to this new blog, get sucked in, and be disappointed that nothing new ever appears. I don't think this will be the case this time (and by the way, horseheadfairyland has assured me there will be new material in the near future). Anyway, please check out "Screaming from the Pulpit," at

www.nomelonnolemon.blogspot.com

for some good stuff. This blog is written by someone we'll call "Robby Two-Takes," who can tell a story like nobody's business. His blogs are sure to create lift in your day. Maybe if we are lucky, he'll tell the story of the toothpick lady from his old job! He's got a million of 'em! So check it out.

By the way, here is a fun fact: no melon no lemon is a palindrome!

Double Letter Score

Missed writing yesterday, so am doing two letters today to make up.

U
Ukulele

V
Village, vacation, Volkswagon Passat station wagon, violin, Voo-doo Barbeque of New Orleans.

Time for T!

Trees, tea, tin-whistle, Thanksgiving, teacher, tumbleweed, thyme, tapas, tikka masala, Texas, Thunderducks, Thurber (goldfish), and Thurber (James).

The Letter S

Samurai Jack, soup, State Fair of Texas, strawberry, science, spaetzel, snow, spring, Saturday, Sunday, sock monkey, sleep, serenity, sea, Sierra Club, SPCA, squippies, Simpsons, Seinfeld, sparklers, "Summertime," sea lion, and spinach salad.

Bird of the Day

The Yellow-Bellied Sapsucker!

There was one in my neighbor's back yard tree today. Very exciting! I was so excited that I went to the front porch to tell Kev, and I jumped up and down saying "Yellow Bellied Sapsucker! Yellow Bellied Sapsucker!" and so he made fun of me and said I was like Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels saying, "OklahomaOklahomaOklahoma..." and that's OK with me because I wasn't expecting a new bird today so it made me happy, and anyway I think secretly Kev thought it was cool too.

AAAHHRRRRR

Robert the dog, Roscoe the dog, rain, ravioli, recording, raven, rosemary, raspberry, rollerskates, risotto, roasted garlic, Ralph Stanley Monkey, REM (old skool), Run DMC, rocket science, robin, Rocky Mountains, Rocky Mountain National Park, and redbud.

Fighting the War on Tara

Many people I know are sick, or have been recently, and I have been exposed to many a germ, and fought many battles these past two months against tell-tale throat tickles and feelings of general malaise. I am, however, happy to report that I am winning the war aginst this Axis of Ev-ill by using my arsenal of salt-water, fruit, and positive thinking. I refuse to get sick. I don't like being sick. I don't have time to be sick.

In other news, yesterday we went to the lake for a walk, and saw a black swan, several black-crowned night herons, cormorants as usual, mallards, coots, gulls, gadwalls and ruddy ducks, and two very entertaining pelicans, who bathed by splashing around wildly and then stood on a log in a Karate Kid pose to dry.

Tonight Kev's soccer team is playing in the championship game for his league, so a shout out to them for good luck. Kev will be playing with a possible hairline fracture in his foot, as well as some type of cold, so I put him right up there with Dirk Nowitski in the tough category.

Elvis Costello is coming to town, which is always cause for celebration.

I was reading a blog dedicated to the London Underground, or "Tube," (the subway), and there was a funny story about one tube station that was having trouble with gangs hanging out, so they decided to pipe in some classical music. This was apparently confusing and unpleasant to the gang members, so they left. Problem solved.

I was thinking that I might like to have a career do-over, so that I could be like a chick I saw on TV who gets paid to go on fabulous adventures for the PBS series, "Globetrekker." She got to go to the Galapagos Islands last week, which would be my ultimate vacation destination, but you have to be rich to go there (unless you are the chick on the TV show or her cameraman). She did have to drink some kind of mixture of juice from the yucca plant mixed with human spittle, so as not to displease the Ecuadoran tribesmen, but I reckon that's not a huge price to pay for getting paid to go to the Galapagos Islands. I also want to go to Cuba, but so far I can't figure out a way to do it legally. Actually, it is fine and dandy for American Citizens to go to Cuba, but we just aren't allowed to spend money there. Hey, maybe I could become like the new (and ever-so-slightly less annoying) Rick Steves, only my medium would be a Travel Guide Blog! And then I could get permission to go to Cuba for "work." Hmm...

Well, I hope everyone has a nice fun Superbowl weekend. I am for the Jets, and since they aren't playing, it isn't likely that they'll win. But one can always hope.

Q

Quality cookware, quilt, Queen (the band), the quiz, Quaker oats, and quiet time.

Could it be?

Is that the sun I see out my window this morning? It's been so long!

My day was off to a bad start, as the pilot went out during the night again, and it was freezing in my house. I hate lighting the pilot. I know one of these days there will be an explosion. But I'll take that risk, because I gotta have my indoor heating. I was thinking about the pioneers, and how fun it would have been to travel through the wilderness before it was covered with strip-malls. And then I was thinking about extreme temperatures and lack of bathrooms and killing one's own dinner and I just don't think it's my thing. I'm not very tough like those pioneer women. Anyway, I am happy that the sun is out and that my house is warmer now and maybe it won't be such a bad day. Maybe I'll even go make pancakes!

Hey, does anyone know what is going to happen to Cuba when Castro passes away? I was just wondering, because I'd really like to go there. The PPHPHB is working on a Cuban song, but it's too early to tell if it's CD-worthy. If any of you have some timbales and would like to be a special guest, let us know!

Also, does anyone know how I can get a meeting with the President? I need to talk to him about some stuff.

P is for...

Pie, pi, pancakes, pizza, Pancho, porch, puppet, pirate, piano, PPHPHB, polar bear, puffin, pesto, penguin, PUPPY!, popcorn, parasailing, peace, and Prince.

O

O is for octopus, orange (color), orange (food), orangutan, October, Oklahoma, opossum, Old 97's, owl, ocean, olive oil, Ouchitas, Oktoberfest, Olympics, Oscar the Grouch, origami, oreo, and Office Space.

I Killed a Bird

There is a dead male purple grackle in my back yard, and I can't help but feel it is all my fault. I am the one who put all the food in the feeders, attracting birds to my Yard of Peril. I tried to shoo away the cat, but I failed, and the grackle, who was just minding his own business trying to enjoy a snack, became the cat's little toy. It would somehow be different if the cat actually ate the bird...needed it to survive. But this cat has a home and people who feed it, so there was no natural reason for the bird to have to die. Cats will be cats, I guess, but it still makes me sad.
At the moment, there are several birds outside at the front-yard feeders, including two red-wing blackbirds...the first I have seen in the neighborhood this year. Red wing blackbirds are very pretty and have a nice sound. I hope the cat stays home today.

It sure is gloomy, but the gloom will be worth it if it snows as predicted. It is also nice to have an opportunity to wear my new light-blue rain parka that Kev got me for Christmas. I can't remember the last time I needed my sunglasses, though. I don't know how people can stand it in places like Seattle, where it's like this most of the time.

I was going to go on a long rant about cell phones, but I'll save it for another time. I need coffee.

N!

New Orleans, New York, New Albany, Nero's Italian Restaurant, National Parks, Northern Gannet, nest, and nap.