Tara Plane Blues

This Friday, I will be heading north to my hometown of New Albany, Indiana. This is going to require getting on a plane and flying to Louisville. I don't like flying on planes. I usually have small to medium panic attacks. The flight to Louisville is fortunately very short though, and I will be with my dad who tends to have a calming affect on people most of the time.

New Albany is a small town in the heart of "Kentuckiana," which as Michael Feldman says, is better than "Indyucky." I will be staying at my aunt's house which has a pool and a hammock, and I intend to take advantage of both. I will also get to hang out with some of my cousins, which I am looking forward to. Mostly, I will be visiting places from my childhood, like the Zesto (ice cream) and Arnie's Pizza King. I am going to take Ralph, which will increase the number of states he has visited to five. It will be his first time on a plane.

On a slightly related note, I have noticed that I am beginning to develop a new irrational fear to go with my collection. On the evenings that I leave work at the beginning of rush hour, I have to drive on Central Expressway, which is a busy expressway with lots of construction and bad drivers. But do I fear being crashed into by some idiot on a cell phone, or getting a 'traffic fines doubled' ticket in the construction zone, both of which could very likely happen? No. Instead, I fear that the traffic helicopters which frequent the skies above my route are going to suddenly spin out of control and fall violently on my car. I am constantly on the lookout for this. Now, this fear is not completely unfounded, as it did happen a couple of years ago here in Dallas. A traffic copter lost an engine or something and crash-landed in the middle of a very busy intersection during rush hour. Luckily, I am pretty sure no one was seriously hurt. It is for this reason that I should not be allowed to watch the news, because I never used to give these helicopters a second thought. Sometimes it sucks to be me.

Yesterday we saw Madagascar, which was very entertaining, especially Da Ali G. Show as the lemur king, and a funny group of penguins. Of the 4 main characters, surprisingly, David Schwimmer's giraffe character got the best lines. The other 3 were mediocre. Anyway, overall, it was a good movie, and I recommend it. Two weeks until March of the Penguins comes out. I can't wait for that.

Time to get ready to head to work. The traffic copters from the morning commute should be safely parked somewhere by now.

Hair Report for Saturday

Dee Snider.

Media Whip

First they started with "J-Lo" and "A-Rod." Then there was "Beniffer." Now they are talking about "Brangelina."

Henceforth, my husband and I will only respond to "Tev."

There are few things more annoying than celebrity gossip.

Good Show Alert

For those of you in the Metroplex, Grey DeLisle is coming to the Sons of Hermann Hall on Friday, June 24. She is a very good singer, and happens to be the voice of, among other cartoon favoites, Daphne on the new Scooby Doo and someone on Clifford the Big Red Dog, which I don't watch, so I forget the name. Also, she is married to the great Murry Hammond of the Old 97s, so chances are he'll join her for some songs, and they are really good as a duet. There might be yodelling!

Extra bonus info: I am jealous of Grey because she is friends with the voice of Samurai Jack.

Virtual March on Washington

http://www.stopglobalwarming.org/campaigns/sgw/impact/7218131b2d6727ba7a0c3c6114e9650e

Please follow this link to join...maybe it will help get the Bush people to pay attention to the scientists.

Quiz Regret

Given more time, I feel I could have come up with better or more interesting questions. Oh well.

Today is a happy day because it is a central market day. The featured coffee was French Vanilla, the jazz was a little on the smooth side, the cheese sample was Wisconsin Cheddar (a little boring). I got there right as the store opened. My new strategy will be to go about 15 minutes after opening, so I won't get stuck in the initial produce back-up. I am looking forward to some raspberries and Peanut Butter Puffins Cereal for breakfast.

Here are some jokes for you today:

Q: Why was the broom late for work?
A: Because he over-swept.

(My 6 year old cousin told me that one)

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore paper pants?
He was arrested for rustling.

(My 30-hmm-hmm year old husband told me that one. He won't tell me where he heard it. )

I like both of thoses jokes. They are very corny.

LRHS quiz

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050609175003-332653

I copied Robert M. Try this link if you are REALLY bored. You can enter a fake email address so you won't get junk mail.

Hair Wars

My hair has crossed over to the Dark Side. It has been looking really awful lately. I look sorta like Ted Nugent (who is a very bad man, but that's another story). Perhaps it is the humidity. Perhaps I need to switch shampoos. I am now against my hair and my pants rotation. Somebody nominate me for What Not to Wear so I can get a fresh start.

Some Good News for Thursday

1. Our internet is fixed.

2. Earth handily defeated the flying saucers during the conclusion of the movie.

Um, that's all I've got. But it's still early.

ACHTUNG!

Sometime in the latter part of the 20th century, German teenagers rebelled against their accordian-loving parents by learning to play the shockingly more hard-core Casio Keyboard. The result was popular German Mega-Stars, Kraftwerk and their contemporaries. Today, on Sirius First Wave, it was Nick Rhodes' (from Duran Duran) birthday, so he got to choose a song...he chose a Kraftwerk favorite: Pocket Calculator. The lyrics go like this:

I am the operator...
of my pocket calculator.

(this is repeated several times in a semi-robotic manner)

I am adding...
I am subtracting...
I am controlling...
I am composing...

When you press a special key...
It plays a little melody...

(And so forth)

Between each line, there is the sound of old-skool 50's computers, like this: boo poo BE poo boo BE boo boop, etc.

Listening to this song has given me new confidence in my ability to write lyrics. You can't get much worse than the calculator people. German people are good at beer and polka and sausages, but I don't know about popular music. I don't even want to get started on the bad lyrics the Scorpions were tossing out in the 80s and 90s, but I'm sure they were armed with an English Rhyming dictionary during the songwriting process.

Speaking of old skool 50s computers, Kev and I watched some 50s sci-fi movies on TCM last night. First was Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Frankly, I didn't like it. I found the whole "pod-people" concept silly and not at all scary, and the ending was very unsatisfying. Then we watched the first part of Earth Versus the Flying Saucers, and I have to say I really liked this one a lot. We recorded the ending, and I am looking forward to watching it.

Anyway, a special shout out ot Dave Howard and his pocket calculator, wherever he is.

Broken

The internet is broken at our house. It is making me crazy. I have to go to Garland or work to check email and read all the blogs and check the minor league baseball page and the weather and CNN.COM. Last night I tried just watching the news on TV and it was unbearable.

Fire Me Please: kinda funny, but did it have to have a laugh track? They could have done better. I give it a "c." I think Minter should try out for that show.

Hands Up if You Want LarryFeathers to Blog More!

ME!

Dork Factor

As you may have noticed, Kev came up with a Dork Factor scale during the discussion of recumbent bikes. First, I would like to sincerely thank Marty for saying I'm not a dork ,and I would like to sarcastically thank Kev for making me the poster child for level 3 of the DF scale.

But really, it's OK. I have embraced my dork-ness. I tried for a long time to be cool, and it just didn't work out. It wasn't me.

But, I do want to say for the record, I DON'T wear socks with sandals. Anymore.

PPHPHB News

Kev is working on a really cool jazz song. What we need is a person who can play drums and a person who can play stand-up bass. And a person who can play trumpet. I don't know if we can pull off a song of this caliber with a cello and a kazoo.

Mc Crack

The new McDonalds radio ads are preying on the weak-minded. They promise that eating McGriddles will give people lovely hallucinogenic images of bellydancing or punching one's boss. They promise a "fruit buzz" from eating the new McFruit McSalad, which will make Monday feel just like Friday. It's just like those Hershey's commercials that show the equation Chocolate=Happiness. Do people really fall for this crap?

When Puppets Attack

or...Return of the Jedi.

Well, I can finally move on with life I think. We watched the final episode of Star Wars two nights ago. I was whipped by Jabba's puppet posse and the Ewoks, but I fought through it to the end. It's sad really, because the final episode has such a great story line, with Luke facing Darth Vader and turning him back to the good side of the Force and whatnot. What was Lucas thinking with those Ewoks? Anyway, I'll bet poor Darth Vader was glad he wouldn't have to deal with his troops of buffoons any more. They sent out his best men, and they were defeated by miniature teddy bears throwing rocks at them.

I don't know how it would be possible to drag this story out for three more episodes. I am glad it's over now. I'm sure Kev is too, although he won't be getting popcorn as regularly after this.

Clarification

Recumbent bikes.

What I mean is this: Is it just as easy to ride these bikes as regular bikes, or is it harder? Do you have to start with training wheels or a grown-up running along beside you? Ice skating is totally different than roller skating, so maybe it's the same deal with these bikes.

Good Eats

Barbecue was out-voted by Carrabba's, and that's OK by me. It was FINE. I can now vouch for the Plano location as well as Lakewood. Thanks to LarryFeathers for dinner. Go to Carrabba's for some good food.

I Have a Question

If you can ride a regular bike, can you automatically ride a recumbent bike, or is it a totally different thing? Have any of you tried one of these things? How do you go up hills from that position?

Saturday LRHS Funhouse

Kev's Dad and R2D2 - Circa 1979

Just in case you didn't believe me, here is Kev's dad with his very own home-made R2D2. It walks around and everything via remote-control. Note the hand on R2's left shoulder. It belongs to Kev, who made me cut the rest of him out of the picture. I obliged because I am nice, but take my word, it's a really cute picture. I was forbidden to post any Jawa pictures. I don't know why...the person in the Jawa suit is masked and may or may not even be Kev. The funniest picture I found was of Kev's dad dressed as the Emperor...very scary looking...holding a new-born baby, probably Kev's sister Kim. I will have to see if I am allowed to post it. I really think Kev should have his own blog for all this stuff. There are some really funny and entertaining stories he could tell if he wanted to. I could not find a picture of R2She2, but I will continue to look.

There has been a lot of neighborhood traffic this morning as a result of the creepy estate sale down the block. I didn't go, but Reader John said he was going yesterday. Perhaps he can give us a report of his findings. I imagine it is a house with lots of black-leather furniture and "contemporary" fixtures, and big screen TVs in several rooms and things made of chrome.

I am waiting for my laundry to dry so I can head to Garland for dinner with my family...we have relatives in from Indiana. There has been a lot of talk of barbecue, so I am looking forward to it.

I can't believe no one remembers the dreaded Choga...Robby R., help me out, man. I'll bet you delivered (or received) a choga or two during your time at good ol' WMS. I hope it's not just an imaginary memory. I don't need any more evidence of my impending insanity.