VERY IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION:
Kev is not an ogre. You would have laughed at me too, had you been there and seen me slumped over the table crying about spices. Kev always does his best to cheer me up. He even offered to go out and bring me back a cheeseburger.
Being pregnant can be really weird. It's like you suddenly belong to a secret club. You get immediate clearance for access to All Things Baby. You get to read books you'd normally never pick up, you get to feel like an insider at Babies R Us, you get to buy special members-only clothes. You learn more about your biology than you ever wanted to know. And people, other secret club members, begin to tell you story after story about their initiation into the club. Some stories are helpful, but others should frankly never be told. Especially to a new and secretly terrified new recruit.
The past week has been really rough. I'm very lucky to have avoided any and all morning sickness, but I feel completely run-down. I have to take a couple naps every day, and I can't get anything done. I don't want to cook because I don't want to eat. Food tastes weird. I can't get any of my chores done, and I feel completely disorganized. The books all say this is normal. The veteran club members tell me I will get my energy back for the second trimester. I hope they are right. Because how am I ever going to get anything done with a new baby if I can't do it now?
The food thing is the worst. I am supposed to be eating all this healthy food, but nothing sounds good except pizza and cheeseburgers and I have a very weird craving for gumbo. I could not eat a mushroom, which everyone knows I LOVE, if it was my only choice. And the very thought of chicken marsala, a staple, makes me queasy. It is so weird. Everyone is different when it comes to these cravings and aversions. My mom craved tomato juice, which she doesn't like, and new car smell and the Sesame Street theme song made her feel sick. My aunt Karen craved the smell of gasoline. Weird. These are the things nobody tells you until you join the club.
Anyway, here at the eleven week point, I had a little freak-out. Yesterday, I got NOTHING done. The house is a mess, we have no meal plan, and Christmas is coming way too fast. All day yesterday, all I could think was how much I wanted just one day off from being pregnant, and then there was a whole load of guilt for even thinking such a thing. I went to the grocery store this morning, which used to be a high point, but I got no joy at all. It was crowded and I couldn't make any food decisions. Then when I got home, Kev was helping me put away the groceries, and he said,"The spice cabinet is out of control," and that was it, man. I lost it. I sat down and cried like a big freak baby. Kev asked what was wrong, and I told him I want my groove back and I don't want out of control cabinets and he tried not to laugh at me, but he did, and rightly so because it was very silly to get so upset about the spice cabinet. But I think I just needed to let it out, because it wasn't really the spice cabinet after all, was it? That was just the proverbial last straw. Anyway, you don't have to come on here commenting with encouraging words. I'm OK, really I'm just venting. I know in my head that everything is going to be fine, and I will not be a terrible mother with cabinet mayhem and a dirty house and frozen dinners every night. I just got overwhelmed.
Welcome to the club.
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8 comments:
sorry that you felt bad. It will pass, they are right, the second trimester is better.
if you want cheeseburgers and pizza, eat them! They are not unhealthy.
If i was standing there I would give you a big hug.
Hey! Be nice, Chick P.
T. likes to ogrefy me in her blog from time to time, laughing at her misfortunes and such. But the part she left out is, through her tears she was laughing just as hard as I was.
-K.
Once, Karen said we had far too much cuman in our cabinet and I was reduced to tears. So, spices are a painful subject around my house too.
Oh the woes of pregnancy- this too shall pass and sadly those around you won't get to laugh at your expense at your funny outbursts anymore. :) Your doing great!!! I am amazed you lasted this long without a spice outburst! That is great!
Pizza and gumbo are both Complete Food Groups -- grains, fruits, veggies...
I'm sure there's a very Feng Shuei connection between one's spice cupboard and the rest of one's life: Organize your spices, and so too shall the rest of your life be.
Maybe?
BTW -- if you can afford it, or if people are fishing for what to get you for the baby shower, ask for a digital video camera. I'm holding off until post-Dissertation, but I'm wondering if that's a mistake, as the kid is sooo cute. And digital photos don't capture how she moves.
Also, since y'all are into nifty sounds, I'd recommend making audio recordings of the kid at regular intervals -- for archival purposes. All the first words, weird sounds that have meaning, etc. :)
--GG
You are just starting to scratch the surface in the joys of being in the club. The first thing that you need to know is that once you are in the club, you are obliged to lie to those not in the club to make it sound joyfull 100% of the time. It's not. There is no joy whatsoever when your 18 month old is "withholding" going to the bathroom. I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say that is you knew what happened, you would be reluctant to ever take a bath in our guest bathroom. :)
By the way, that last comment was for all of your readers who enjoy a good poop blog.
Remember a few weeks back when I posted that Q&A session about the pregnant fiancee...and you said it wouldn't happen...told ya you would come around...hehehehehehe
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