Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Wolverine Story

(as requested by K.)

Ok, here is a story that I am going to tell you before Kev gets a chance to tell you. I am sure his version would make me look much dumber than my version. So here goes:

The other night, we were discussing badgers. I do not know why. Anyway, I told Kev that I didn't think I'd recognize a badger if I saw one, and he said they looked sort of like wolverines. That's weird, I thought, and I told Kev I thought wolverines were like mini wolves.

Now. Let's stop right there a second. You see, "mini" was a poor choice of words on my part. When I said mini-wolves, Kev erupted in Laughter At My Expense (LAME). He began to talk between chuckles about "wolves in 1/3 scale" and so forth. What I meant when I said that though, was that I thought wolverines were members of the wolf family, but slightly smaller. I did NOT mean tiny mouse-sized wolves.

Let me tell you how I very logically arrived at the idea that wolverines were mini - scratch that - small wolves. I have never experienced a wolverine in real life, nor at a zoo, nor in any children's literature nor animated film. At no time, did anyone sit me down and say, "Tara, THIS is a woverine." So I had very little to base my assumption on besides the wolverine's name alone.


Hmmm. Wolverine. Has the "wolve-" right at the beginning. OK. Next. Sounds kinda like the word "figurine." What is a figurine? A small figure. Next. There are sports teams called wolverines, so they are probably fierce creatures. Like wolves. And finally, the guy in the X-Men movie looks WAY more like a wolf-man than a badger.

It never occurred to me that a wolverine might NOT be part of the wolf family, so I never bothered to look it up.

I guarentee that if someone told Kev that there was an animal called a "pantherine," he would think it was a smaller kind of panther.

Kev was also quite shocked and amused to learn that I have gone my whole 39 years without knowing the difference between a shotgun and a rifle. Why on earth would I need to know a thing like that?

So, make fun of me if you will. I don't care. Live and learn, I say. At least I know that Chicken of the Sea is a tuna fish.

2 comments:

K. said...

Help me! I'm being attacked by mouse-size mini wolves!! Gaahh!!

Heh heh heh...mini wolves.

If we ever get a hamster, I'm naming it Wolverine. Or perhaps Pantherine.

Gye Greene said...

When we go to the pet store, The Kid calls guinea pigs "piggies". (Well, first she calls them "mouse!" Then, when we correct her, she drops the "guinea" part...)

Shotgun vs. rifle: Hm! Maybe that's required reading or something in TX...


But -- do you know the difference between single-coils and humbuckers? ;)


(And, does Kevin know the difference between a fricative and a glottal stop...?)

Everyone's got their area of knowledge.


--GG