Monday, May 08, 2006

Boo!

I am working on a list of people to haunt if I am ever a ghost. I won't hurt anyone, just play tricks on them. Here is what I have so far:

  1. Rush Guy: I will steal all his Rush CDs and replace them with Celine Dion, John Denver, and Kenny G. Then I will set his radio to the smooth jazz station and make it come on really loud in the middle of the night every night. I will re-string his guitar backwards. Then I will get a ghost friend with some technical skills to make his amp only go to volume level one.
  2. Elizabeth Newman (builder of McMansions): I will hide one shoe from every pair she owns. I will replace her hairspray with something that smells bad. I will gather up all the Elizabeth Newman signs and put them in her yard.
  3. Rachel Ray: I will hide her giant salad tongs and put green dye in her toothpaste.

That's all I have so far. And then when I finish all that, I will go to good people's houses and do nice things for them, like doing their laundry or baking them some key lime pie or brownies.

5 comments:

Julie said...

awww- leave Rachel Ray alone- what did she ever do to you? You just have to change the channel- I understand Rush guy and the macmansion lady- but poor salad lady. :( Please add all dumb a** caseworkers who don't return phone calls. I can give you a specific list if needed.

Gye Greene said...

I think you would make a really good ghost! :)

This would also make a fairly good movie. Perhaps the role of ''Tara, the Helpful (and Vaguely Vengeful) Ghost'' could be played by Sandra Bullock, Renee Zellweger or Billie Piper.

Or, of course, herself. :)


--TG

whitneydonkey said...

You must haunt Carla

haHAHA ha

Do her laugh very wispy and ghostlike.

I'll take some haunted Key Lime Pie.

K. said...

And in your spare time you can solve mysteries.

Do ghosts get to pick their daily haunting destinations? Is there a sign-up sheet? 'Cause I'm thinking you might would rather haunt somebody in the Italian countryside then be stuck inside of Elizabeth Newman's shoe closet for eternity.

-K.

Tara said...

Well, I don't know the rules of ghost-hood, but I would like to be a travelling ghost if possible. It would be sad to be stuck ANY one place for eternity.