Feelin' Like a Freak

Today before it started raining, it was a really nice day, so we decided to go to the lake for a picnic. We packed some stuff, and went to get sandwiches. Kev said the grocery store's deli will make sandwiches. I didn't believe him but we went to Kroger anyway, and there near the deli were some pre-made sandwiches with turkey and lettuce and tomato and it was difficult to tell what else. Now, I was not going to spend 4+ dollars on a sandwich with lettuce and tomato and possibly one or more of my kryptonites (mayo, mustard, pickle), so Kev said to ask at the deli counter if they would make me a sandwich. Now, the deli counter was crowded with people who were there to do what one is SUPPOSED to do at the deli counter, which is to purchase the necessary things you need to go home and make your OWN sandwich. And naturally, the deli counter lady was somewhat taken aback by my request, but said she could make me a sandwich, and what would I like on it? I said I would like black forest ham and provolone cheese and that's all, thank you. No mayo? she asked. No, I replied. So she goes about making my sandwich. Then she comes back and says,"Are you sure you don't want anything else on this?" No thank you, I say. She finds this baffling.
"Mayo?"
"No"
"Lettuce?"
"No."
"Tomato?"
"No"
"Don't you want a pickle?"
"No"
By now, all the deli counter customers are having a good laugh. I look around, and Kev is nowhere to be found, clearly embarrassed to be with the Crazy-Nothing-on-the-Sandwich Girl. It was humiliating. I shan't ask for a sandwich in the grocery store deli ever again.

Things got better. We had a nice picnic, and guess what! The ice cream man was at the lake, so I got a fudge bomb pop, and it was so great.