Above the Law

Well, Father's Day is nigh upon us, so congratulations to all the dads in the audience. Give yourselves a round of applause.

Special shout out to my own dad, Floyd. He is a one-of-a-kind original; what you would call larger than life. And I'm not saying that because he is my dad. Its true. He also managed to raise me, which was no easy feat, I tell you what.

So, I thought I'd share a little-known Floyd story with you. One time, when I was about 14, we were headed somewhere in my mom's Plymouth K-car station wagon. He was driving, and I was riding shotgun. Now, my dad is someone who is perpetually late, and is therefore always in a hurry. My mom likes to say that he will be late to his own funeral (a joke which he finds amusing not in the least). He also considers himself to be above the law. But I digress.

As usual we were going warp speed, around 95 mph, which is as fast as a K-car will go on level ground. I caught a glimpse of a state trooper hiding in the bushes. Sure enough, he puts on his lights and starts his pursuit. Damn. I report the situation to my father. "Dad. The Cops".

Now, most standard-issue fathers would look wincingly in the rearview mirror, perhaps curse a bit, and pull over. Not my dad. He glances over at me and says, "You buckled up?". "Sure". "Good" he says. "Hold on".

He then jerks the wheel hard over, veers off onto an exit ramp, still going 95 mind you and in clear view of the patrol car, which is gaining on us fast. All in one smooth motion he bears right into a hotel, pulls up and around to the parking lot in back, turns off the lights, and shuts off the car. Moments later we see the police cruiser flying by on the road below. My heart is racing.

Staring straight ahead, he says "We're not going to tell mom about this one, OK?".

And I never did, until now.

Not long after, while driving this same station wagon and still carrying a learner's permit, I would have what was to be the first of six automotive brushes with death. Although not entirely my fault (I hit the brakes too hard avoiding a deer and had a tire blowout), I did manage to roll the family car. These experiences have taught me to appreciate the frailty of human existence and be a safe driver.

Happy Father's Day, dad.

-K.