Monday, August 01, 2005

I Have a Dream

A couple of weeks ago, I sent off for a free DVD brochure from Linblad Expeditions regarding their trips to Antarctica. It arrived over the weekend, and I watched it. I have decided that it is imperative that I go to Antarctica on a Linblad Expedition. Here is why it is the vacation adventure for me:
  • It lasts 25 days, most of which are spent at sea.
  • It is not hot in Antarctica.
  • You do not have to drive, cook, or make any major decisions for 25 days.
  • You get to hang out with penguins, raft and kayak alongside whales and icebergs, see many cool birds, and there are seals of all kinds.
  • You get a complimentary parka.
  • Did I mention the penguins?

Now this is unfortunately a very very expensive trip. I reckon that to really do it right, we're going to need close to 40 grand. This presents a problem, because we just don't have an extra $40,000 lying around the house for fabulous adventures. And even if we did, we would probably have to use it for something like the mortgage.

And so, the scheming began. My first idea was to start entering every sweepstakes or contest I could find...surely I would win something, right? In fact, if any of you alert me to a contest that I enter and win, I will give you 10% as a finder's fee! My second idea was to sell raffle tickets for one dollar each. Once I sell 50,000 tickets, I will have a drawing, and that lucky winner will receive $10,000, and I can use the rest for Antarctica. Question: Is that legal? Would you guys buy one of my raffle tickets? OK, third idea: I could approach the executives from Sony, and have them sponsor my trip. I would take lots of pictures with my Sony digital camera, and they could turn the whole thing into a campaign for "see how great this Sony digital camera is for the common man who has no training in photography." Do you think they will go for it? Please let me know if you have any more ideas.

I think I have decided that I am going to Antarctica for my 50th birthday. That will give me time to get the money, and will also make my next several birthdays more bearable, since instead of being one year closer to OLD, I will be one year closer to penguins. Let me know if any of you would like to borrow my free DVD brochure.


ThatWomanInNewAlbany said...

No, no, no!! You can't wait until you're 50, because I want to go too and, by then, it would just be "in spirit!" Mary knows Alaska. He can take us!

Gye Greene said...

Something about "one year closer to old = one year closer to penguins" intrigues me. Contact Hallmark.

Fund raising: Reality t.v.! The pitch: Slightly eccentric speech therapist from TX braves frostbite to visit Antarctica, thus staving off midlife crisis.

I'm not into "hot," but I'll take it over "cold" any day! If you get lost in the desert, you can last almost a week. If you get lost in Antarctica -- esp. if you get wet -- you're dead within a few hours. (See Jack London's "To Build a Fire.")

Although hot places do have more poisonous critters than freezy places.


whitneydonkey said...

I'll give you $5.00.