Pond in the Knobs 

Apple Tree at Hubers Orchard 

Indiana Goats 

Indiana Turkeys 

Me and my Aunt Kathy having a big time on the farm. 

Floyds Knobs

View from Floyds Knobs

New Albany, Indiana is located in a valley between the Ohio River and some small hills known as Floyds Knobs. This photo was taken from the Knobs, and in it you can see the river, with the Louisville skyline behind it. As far as I know, these are the only hills called "knobs" but I have done exactly NO research, so I can't confirm that info. The highest elevation in the Knobs is 1006 ft at Hickman's Hill. Other peaks include Bald Knob (874 ft), Lost Knob (905 ft.), and Pickle Pear Knob (860 ft.). No one I have asked knows who Floyd is or why they are called Knobs, but I think it's funny.

In the Knobs, there is a farm, orchard, and winery called Hubers. You can go to Hubers and pick whatever fruits or vegetables are in season. You can tour the winery and do tastings just like in Sideways, only you are in Indiana instead of California. Hubers also has a restaurant and a petting zoo with goats, llamas, cows, rabbits, etc. The restaurant is famous for its fried chicken and fried biscuits. We went to Hubers last Saturday and it was great. The temperature was about 72 degrees and everything was green and peaceful. The strawberries were peaking, and were probably the best strawberries I have ever tasted. We took some to my aunt's house and she made delicious strawberry shortcake. Indiana is good.

Back Home Again, in Indiana

Much like sa_eric, I decided to visit homes of my past during my trip to Indiana. This is the house where I lived when I was born. I don't remeber it, except for seeing some pictures and home movies from when we lived there. There is a Super-8 film of me sitting on a blanket in the front yard. I crawl over to the edge of the blanket and accidentally touch the grass, which causes a very shocked and distressed Tara-face, and then some crying. And so began my lifelong battle with sensory issues. I still won't walk barefoot in grass, unless it is perfect grass like on a golf course green, and that is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. Maybe Kev will blog a blog about how he always has to write down my score for me when we play darts because I refuse to touch chalk. Anyway, I really like this house. It is cute and has a good front porch and probably a basement. Too bad the new homes they are building don't look more like this one.

This is the third time I have written this blog. It has gotten shorter each time. Every time I try to publish it, I lose connection to the internet. Third time's the charm I hope...

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

Here is Ralph on his first plane trip. He was a little nervous, but he enjoyed the flight to Louisville. So did I, as a matter of fact. I even went into the cockpit upon landing and told the pilots it was the best flight I had ever been on. There was nary a bump! Sadly, the same could not be said for the flight home, but that's another story.

There's No Place Like Home

Hello, and I am happy to be blogging to you again from Palo Pinto Ave. A very big thanks to Kev for guest-blogging. I hope he will feel free to jump on here now and then...his blogs are good.

My trip was mostly really fun, and I will soon bore you with a few Tales of Midwestern Adventure which will include, among other things, turkeys, the monkey, a brothel, Indians (native american), and Floyd's Knobs.

These stories will have to wait, however. Gotta get caught up at work.

Note to Marty and Kim: If Ocean City happens, I'm there. Kev tells me there is parasailing.

Above the Law

Well, Father's Day is nigh upon us, so congratulations to all the dads in the audience. Give yourselves a round of applause.

Special shout out to my own dad, Floyd. He is a one-of-a-kind original; what you would call larger than life. And I'm not saying that because he is my dad. Its true. He also managed to raise me, which was no easy feat, I tell you what.

So, I thought I'd share a little-known Floyd story with you. One time, when I was about 14, we were headed somewhere in my mom's Plymouth K-car station wagon. He was driving, and I was riding shotgun. Now, my dad is someone who is perpetually late, and is therefore always in a hurry. My mom likes to say that he will be late to his own funeral (a joke which he finds amusing not in the least). He also considers himself to be above the law. But I digress.

As usual we were going warp speed, around 95 mph, which is as fast as a K-car will go on level ground. I caught a glimpse of a state trooper hiding in the bushes. Sure enough, he puts on his lights and starts his pursuit. Damn. I report the situation to my father. "Dad. The Cops".

Now, most standard-issue fathers would look wincingly in the rearview mirror, perhaps curse a bit, and pull over. Not my dad. He glances over at me and says, "You buckled up?". "Sure". "Good" he says. "Hold on".

He then jerks the wheel hard over, veers off onto an exit ramp, still going 95 mind you and in clear view of the patrol car, which is gaining on us fast. All in one smooth motion he bears right into a hotel, pulls up and around to the parking lot in back, turns off the lights, and shuts off the car. Moments later we see the police cruiser flying by on the road below. My heart is racing.

Staring straight ahead, he says "We're not going to tell mom about this one, OK?".

And I never did, until now.

Not long after, while driving this same station wagon and still carrying a learner's permit, I would have what was to be the first of six automotive brushes with death. Although not entirely my fault (I hit the brakes too hard avoiding a deer and had a tire blowout), I did manage to roll the family car. These experiences have taught me to appreciate the frailty of human existence and be a safe driver.

Happy Father's Day, dad.

-K.

Still in Texas

Well, my dad goofed. He thought he bought tickets for a 7:36 AM flight, but last night, I happened to notice on the print-out from Travelocity that it is in fact a 7:36 PM flight. It is good I noticed, or we'd have gotten up at around 4 in the morning for nothing. Anyway, I am still here, at my parents house. I spent the night, thinking it would make things easier for such an early flight. Now everyone is cranky and tired and we're not going to get to Indiana until around midnight. I am disappointed because I had big plans to go out with a bunch of my cousins tonight. My consolation will be a midnight swim in my aunt's pool. The Zesto will have to wait until tomorrow.

Got the good news yesterday that Kev and I will be having visitors from Long Island in July. I am not sure they know what they are in for, coming to Texas in mid-summer. But we will have a great time in spite of the heat.

I hope you all have a good weekend. I have asked Kev to be a guest blogger while I'm gone, but I don't know if he will do it.

Stool of Despair

Hello...is this thing on?

Guest blogger K. here. T. is off to Indiana for a few days and has asked me to fill in the dead airspace while she is away.

So...there is this wooden stool that I gave her a few Christmases ago. It has a sea turtle on it that I fashioned out of mosaic tiles. (I am generally not a crafty person but I had a lot of time on my hands that year.) Anyway, the intended purpose was to allow her to reach things up high like the liquor cabinet and other tall-people places.

While it does get used for reaching, the turtle stool has mainly become a place for her to sit in times of dire stress (which is about two or three times per week). She has this particularly forlorn way of squatting on it with her head in her hands. I have tried to tell her that the turtle stool is a happy place, but to no avail. It has become the Stool of Despair.

And now for some good news. Marty and ChickPChick are coming to town in July! Three cheers for Marty and the Chick!

-K.

Hey Long Island!

Can we get a baby Eastern Screech Owl update?

It's Triple-Shot Thursday on LRHS

1. A tree branch was broken by construction men yesterday in spite of my vigilance.
2. Last night Kev spotted a 'possum in the back yard! Could it be?
3. Predicted weekend high temperatures in Dallas are 95-99. Predicted weekend high temperatures in New Albany, Indiana are 78-84.

Look Abner!

I have turned into Mrs. Kravitz. I can't turn away from my window. This morning, I have already had to go outside and ask the construction guy to kindly move his truck off my grass. I watched while one of the workers crossed two lawns and stomped all over someone's garden in order to turn on their garden hose to wet one of those blue industrial paper towels, then tromp back through their garden and the two lawns to wipe the mirror on the truck with the paper towel WITHOUT ASKING - OR EVEN ATTEMPTING TO ASK - THE NEIGHBOR FOR USE OF THE HOSE. I know those people would be really ticked off...they work really hard on their flowers.

They've barely made a dent in the debris pile.

In a way, I sorta feel sorry for those guys. It's only 9:00, and it's already really hot out. And if that's not bad enough, today we have a red level (or "unhealthy") air quailty warning, which advises people not to go outside at all. You'd think it was Los Angeles, as gross as it is outside.

Still. Hot or no hot. Pollution or no pollution. You don't need to go around parking in people's grass, stepping on their flowers, or using their hoses without permission. I'll be watching you, you turkeys.

Daisies and Butterflies

When I was a senior in high school, I was in the work program, which was cool because it meant I got to leave school at about 11:30 every day with my friends Whitney and Carla. We all had jobs at a place I will call Wood-Ridge Private School, and we got school credit for working there. Looking back, it was an absolute educational waste of time, and I should have been learning some math or at least some kind of life skill like managing bank accounts or the dangers of credit cards for college freshman or how to change a tire or something. But at the time, it was cool, because if there was one thing I hated, it was being at my high school.
We didn't have to be at work until about 3:00, so when we left school, we usually went to Carla's house for snacks and soap operas. There were always industrial sized jars of salsa at Carla's house. When Another World was over, it was time to go to work. I was the teacher in the 4 year old class, otherwise known as the Butterflies. Carla had the Daisies, who were five. I think Whitney floated between classes. She was sometimes with the really little Bluebird kids, but she was usually with me and Carla, who put our classes together at around 3:30. Most of the time we went outside to the playground, where we would sit and gossip while the kids ran all around. Once, one of the little boys went to the bathroom on the playground. This was a big no-no at Wood-Ridge. The mean lady who ran the place, let's call her Mrs. O'Flynn, promptly took him to the kitchen, showed him a giant knife, and told him "Next time you take that out on the playground, it's coming off." Mrs. O'Flynn was a horrible person. She had giant pig's feet, which she would squeeze into tiny little shoes. Her feet would swell and flow out over the sides of the shoes. She always scowled.
When it was hot or raining, we put the daisies and butterflies on the floor in front of the TV, where they would watch the same three or four Disney movies, or endless episodes of Inspector Gadget. Sometimes the kids would understandably get tired of sitting in front of the TV and so they'd start talking or wiggling. Also a no-no. Mrs. O'Flynn would fly into the room, hit her ruler on a table to get their attention, and start screaming at them to get quiet. I especially hated this, as it usually woke me up from my afternoon nap.
One time, a little boy named Albert wet his pants. Then he wet his back-up pants. Since he had no more pants, Mrs. O'Flynn put him in a chair in the middle of the playground and told him to sit there until the sun dried him.
The only time she ever smiled was when the people from welfare would come to inspect. Her smile was forced and evil and scary. We should have reported her, but we didn't really know what to do. We needed the job to graduate anyway.

I love/hated that job. Some of the kids were really great and funny. By now, they are probably all in college, or even finished with college. Anyway, be very wary of putting your kids in day-cares run by high school students and mean old ladies. And when in doubt, pack them three pairs of pants.

Bring in da Noise, Bring in da Trucks

My morning coffee/blog-reading time was just interrupted by the desparate and loud knocking on my door of a grammar-challenged teenage boy, who, when I opened it, said, "Is it aw-right if y'all move ya'll vehicle." I looked behind me to see who else he was talking to, but it was just me. Anyway, he gestured to a giant semi which appears to serve the function of hauling away the remains of the house across the street, and which was having trouble getting itself into the front yard. Once I'all moved my'all vehicle, it took the truck at least 6 or 7 tries to maneuver its way onto what used to be the front lawn. I watched from the porch with my arms folded, fearing a repeat of the tree incident of 2003, and the subsequent anger of Kev. You don't want to mess with Kev's trees. Fortunately, no harm was done, but it's early, and I reckon it'll take more than one truck to haul away the whole pile.

I wonder what they would have done if I had refused to move my car from the street.

It is a sad day on Palo Pinto Ave.

Welcome to My Nightmare

This morning when I left for work, this pile of rubbish was the house across the street. It's gonna be a long noisy summer.

New Albany Landmark...Gonna get me a chili dog / chocolate malt combo! 

Tara Plane Blues

This Friday, I will be heading north to my hometown of New Albany, Indiana. This is going to require getting on a plane and flying to Louisville. I don't like flying on planes. I usually have small to medium panic attacks. The flight to Louisville is fortunately very short though, and I will be with my dad who tends to have a calming affect on people most of the time.

New Albany is a small town in the heart of "Kentuckiana," which as Michael Feldman says, is better than "Indyucky." I will be staying at my aunt's house which has a pool and a hammock, and I intend to take advantage of both. I will also get to hang out with some of my cousins, which I am looking forward to. Mostly, I will be visiting places from my childhood, like the Zesto (ice cream) and Arnie's Pizza King. I am going to take Ralph, which will increase the number of states he has visited to five. It will be his first time on a plane.

On a slightly related note, I have noticed that I am beginning to develop a new irrational fear to go with my collection. On the evenings that I leave work at the beginning of rush hour, I have to drive on Central Expressway, which is a busy expressway with lots of construction and bad drivers. But do I fear being crashed into by some idiot on a cell phone, or getting a 'traffic fines doubled' ticket in the construction zone, both of which could very likely happen? No. Instead, I fear that the traffic helicopters which frequent the skies above my route are going to suddenly spin out of control and fall violently on my car. I am constantly on the lookout for this. Now, this fear is not completely unfounded, as it did happen a couple of years ago here in Dallas. A traffic copter lost an engine or something and crash-landed in the middle of a very busy intersection during rush hour. Luckily, I am pretty sure no one was seriously hurt. It is for this reason that I should not be allowed to watch the news, because I never used to give these helicopters a second thought. Sometimes it sucks to be me.

Yesterday we saw Madagascar, which was very entertaining, especially Da Ali G. Show as the lemur king, and a funny group of penguins. Of the 4 main characters, surprisingly, David Schwimmer's giraffe character got the best lines. The other 3 were mediocre. Anyway, overall, it was a good movie, and I recommend it. Two weeks until March of the Penguins comes out. I can't wait for that.

Time to get ready to head to work. The traffic copters from the morning commute should be safely parked somewhere by now.

Hair Report for Saturday

Dee Snider.

Media Whip

First they started with "J-Lo" and "A-Rod." Then there was "Beniffer." Now they are talking about "Brangelina."

Henceforth, my husband and I will only respond to "Tev."

There are few things more annoying than celebrity gossip.

Good Show Alert

For those of you in the Metroplex, Grey DeLisle is coming to the Sons of Hermann Hall on Friday, June 24. She is a very good singer, and happens to be the voice of, among other cartoon favoites, Daphne on the new Scooby Doo and someone on Clifford the Big Red Dog, which I don't watch, so I forget the name. Also, she is married to the great Murry Hammond of the Old 97s, so chances are he'll join her for some songs, and they are really good as a duet. There might be yodelling!

Extra bonus info: I am jealous of Grey because she is friends with the voice of Samurai Jack.

Virtual March on Washington

http://www.stopglobalwarming.org/campaigns/sgw/impact/7218131b2d6727ba7a0c3c6114e9650e

Please follow this link to join...maybe it will help get the Bush people to pay attention to the scientists.

Quiz Regret

Given more time, I feel I could have come up with better or more interesting questions. Oh well.

Today is a happy day because it is a central market day. The featured coffee was French Vanilla, the jazz was a little on the smooth side, the cheese sample was Wisconsin Cheddar (a little boring). I got there right as the store opened. My new strategy will be to go about 15 minutes after opening, so I won't get stuck in the initial produce back-up. I am looking forward to some raspberries and Peanut Butter Puffins Cereal for breakfast.

Here are some jokes for you today:

Q: Why was the broom late for work?
A: Because he over-swept.

(My 6 year old cousin told me that one)

Did you hear about the cowboy who wore paper pants?
He was arrested for rustling.

(My 30-hmm-hmm year old husband told me that one. He won't tell me where he heard it. )

I like both of thoses jokes. They are very corny.

LRHS quiz

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050609175003-332653

I copied Robert M. Try this link if you are REALLY bored. You can enter a fake email address so you won't get junk mail.

Hair Wars

My hair has crossed over to the Dark Side. It has been looking really awful lately. I look sorta like Ted Nugent (who is a very bad man, but that's another story). Perhaps it is the humidity. Perhaps I need to switch shampoos. I am now against my hair and my pants rotation. Somebody nominate me for What Not to Wear so I can get a fresh start.

Some Good News for Thursday

1. Our internet is fixed.

2. Earth handily defeated the flying saucers during the conclusion of the movie.

Um, that's all I've got. But it's still early.

ACHTUNG!

Sometime in the latter part of the 20th century, German teenagers rebelled against their accordian-loving parents by learning to play the shockingly more hard-core Casio Keyboard. The result was popular German Mega-Stars, Kraftwerk and their contemporaries. Today, on Sirius First Wave, it was Nick Rhodes' (from Duran Duran) birthday, so he got to choose a song...he chose a Kraftwerk favorite: Pocket Calculator. The lyrics go like this:

I am the operator...
of my pocket calculator.

(this is repeated several times in a semi-robotic manner)

I am adding...
I am subtracting...
I am controlling...
I am composing...

When you press a special key...
It plays a little melody...

(And so forth)

Between each line, there is the sound of old-skool 50's computers, like this: boo poo BE poo boo BE boo boop, etc.

Listening to this song has given me new confidence in my ability to write lyrics. You can't get much worse than the calculator people. German people are good at beer and polka and sausages, but I don't know about popular music. I don't even want to get started on the bad lyrics the Scorpions were tossing out in the 80s and 90s, but I'm sure they were armed with an English Rhyming dictionary during the songwriting process.

Speaking of old skool 50s computers, Kev and I watched some 50s sci-fi movies on TCM last night. First was Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Frankly, I didn't like it. I found the whole "pod-people" concept silly and not at all scary, and the ending was very unsatisfying. Then we watched the first part of Earth Versus the Flying Saucers, and I have to say I really liked this one a lot. We recorded the ending, and I am looking forward to watching it.

Anyway, a special shout out ot Dave Howard and his pocket calculator, wherever he is.

Broken

The internet is broken at our house. It is making me crazy. I have to go to Garland or work to check email and read all the blogs and check the minor league baseball page and the weather and CNN.COM. Last night I tried just watching the news on TV and it was unbearable.

Fire Me Please: kinda funny, but did it have to have a laugh track? They could have done better. I give it a "c." I think Minter should try out for that show.

Hands Up if You Want LarryFeathers to Blog More!

ME!

Dork Factor

As you may have noticed, Kev came up with a Dork Factor scale during the discussion of recumbent bikes. First, I would like to sincerely thank Marty for saying I'm not a dork ,and I would like to sarcastically thank Kev for making me the poster child for level 3 of the DF scale.

But really, it's OK. I have embraced my dork-ness. I tried for a long time to be cool, and it just didn't work out. It wasn't me.

But, I do want to say for the record, I DON'T wear socks with sandals. Anymore.

PPHPHB News

Kev is working on a really cool jazz song. What we need is a person who can play drums and a person who can play stand-up bass. And a person who can play trumpet. I don't know if we can pull off a song of this caliber with a cello and a kazoo.

Mc Crack

The new McDonalds radio ads are preying on the weak-minded. They promise that eating McGriddles will give people lovely hallucinogenic images of bellydancing or punching one's boss. They promise a "fruit buzz" from eating the new McFruit McSalad, which will make Monday feel just like Friday. It's just like those Hershey's commercials that show the equation Chocolate=Happiness. Do people really fall for this crap?

When Puppets Attack

or...Return of the Jedi.

Well, I can finally move on with life I think. We watched the final episode of Star Wars two nights ago. I was whipped by Jabba's puppet posse and the Ewoks, but I fought through it to the end. It's sad really, because the final episode has such a great story line, with Luke facing Darth Vader and turning him back to the good side of the Force and whatnot. What was Lucas thinking with those Ewoks? Anyway, I'll bet poor Darth Vader was glad he wouldn't have to deal with his troops of buffoons any more. They sent out his best men, and they were defeated by miniature teddy bears throwing rocks at them.

I don't know how it would be possible to drag this story out for three more episodes. I am glad it's over now. I'm sure Kev is too, although he won't be getting popcorn as regularly after this.

Clarification

Recumbent bikes.

What I mean is this: Is it just as easy to ride these bikes as regular bikes, or is it harder? Do you have to start with training wheels or a grown-up running along beside you? Ice skating is totally different than roller skating, so maybe it's the same deal with these bikes.

Good Eats

Barbecue was out-voted by Carrabba's, and that's OK by me. It was FINE. I can now vouch for the Plano location as well as Lakewood. Thanks to LarryFeathers for dinner. Go to Carrabba's for some good food.

I Have a Question

If you can ride a regular bike, can you automatically ride a recumbent bike, or is it a totally different thing? Have any of you tried one of these things? How do you go up hills from that position?

Saturday LRHS Funhouse

Kev's Dad and R2D2 - Circa 1979

Just in case you didn't believe me, here is Kev's dad with his very own home-made R2D2. It walks around and everything via remote-control. Note the hand on R2's left shoulder. It belongs to Kev, who made me cut the rest of him out of the picture. I obliged because I am nice, but take my word, it's a really cute picture. I was forbidden to post any Jawa pictures. I don't know why...the person in the Jawa suit is masked and may or may not even be Kev. The funniest picture I found was of Kev's dad dressed as the Emperor...very scary looking...holding a new-born baby, probably Kev's sister Kim. I will have to see if I am allowed to post it. I really think Kev should have his own blog for all this stuff. There are some really funny and entertaining stories he could tell if he wanted to. I could not find a picture of R2She2, but I will continue to look.

There has been a lot of neighborhood traffic this morning as a result of the creepy estate sale down the block. I didn't go, but Reader John said he was going yesterday. Perhaps he can give us a report of his findings. I imagine it is a house with lots of black-leather furniture and "contemporary" fixtures, and big screen TVs in several rooms and things made of chrome.

I am waiting for my laundry to dry so I can head to Garland for dinner with my family...we have relatives in from Indiana. There has been a lot of talk of barbecue, so I am looking forward to it.

I can't believe no one remembers the dreaded Choga...Robby R., help me out, man. I'll bet you delivered (or received) a choga or two during your time at good ol' WMS. I hope it's not just an imaginary memory. I don't need any more evidence of my impending insanity.

CreepFest 2005

There is presently an estate sale going on 3 doors down in the home of Dr. Todd Calvin, the singing and child-molesting dentist...hmm...somebody must have some hefty lawyer's fees. Anyway, I am fighting a morbid curiosity to go, but I am late for meeting my mom, aunts, and cousin for a day of shopping, so the estate sale will have to wait. Wonder what he's got for sale...

Choga

Does anyone else remember "choga," or was that just a Webb Middle School thing? At Webb, a choga was when someone would grab you by the face and shove their thumb-knuckle under and behind your chin. I am pretty sure it really hurt. I fortunately never received a choga. Middle School was evil. I remember there was a girl who smelled like barbecue and everyone called her "Bacon Bits." We also had a girl who looked like an old woman, and everyone called her Mrs. Beasley. There was another girl who had a skin disease that made her all flakey. I don't remember what she got called, but I'm sure it wasn't nice. One time, me and Kathy Harland won the talent show by doing a dance to the Cotton-Eyed Joe. We were HUGE dorks. I think we each got 10 dollars. We also started a business...we would paint customized shoe-laces for people with their names and little hearts or flowers or whatever they wanted. DORK-O-RAMA, but the laces were quite popular at the time. Then one day, Kathy did something that really got on my nerves, so I hauled off and hit her on the leg. I don't remember what it was that she did. We weren't friends after that. I remember once in middle school when Jodi Knable got carried away with flip-flops during a pep rally, and flip-flopped herself right into the gym wall. CRASH! There was also this one teacher who weighted about 350 pounds, but she could do the splits, and she would do it upon request like a freak show. I remember once when Whitney and I were office aides, and this really tough girl named Yolanda Montelongo made us get her out of class by pretending she needed to go to the nurse or something. She ended up getting caught skipping, and we had to go to the vice-principal's office (Mr. Wildermuth) and we told him we were afraid she would beat us up if we didn't get her out of class. It was really uncool to be smart, so I used to call out 85's in math class even though I usually made 100's. I vowed if I was ever a teacher, I wouldn't make kids call out their grades in front of the whole class. If you called out 100, everyone would groan and sneer at you. I hated middle school. In 7th grade, I had a math teacher named Mr. Mezzles (pronounced Measles) who gave me my one and only detention for talking. I hated PE the most. We had to folk-dance with the boy's PE class. I am glad I never have to go to middle school again.

The Empire Strikes Back

Kev saved plenty of room for some post-shepherd's pie popcorn last night, so we watched Episode 5. A very good movie...Yoda was funny, Darth Vader was a bad-ass, no silly puppets, etc. I kinda felt sorry for Darth Vader because all of his minions were completely worthless, which was very frustrating for the Dark Lord. Anyway, one more installment and I can move on. I will just have to try to get past the teddy bears. I'm sure Kev will be glad when this is all over. I think he has a little bit of adolescent stress associated with Star Wars. You see, his dad, who is greatness, was a physics teacher (in fact, he was once Disney's Teacher of the Year for the whole country), and he used to build robots for his classroom. He built an exact replica of R2D2, along with his girlfriend, the pink-trimmed R2-She2. He made a C3PO of snow. He made Kev dress up like various things, a Jawa I think mostly, and go around town with the robots in tow, entertaining kids, when Kev probably wanted to be playing outside or doing other things. I will see if I am allowed to post some photos of Kev's dad from his travelling Star Wars show days...very cool. Kev's dad still loves Star Wars and the toys that go with it. This Christmas he gathered the whole family in the living room for a light saber demonstration with his new LED light sabers. He told me he took his light sabers to the theater last week when they went to see Revenge of the Sith ("Just in case," he said), but Kev's mom made him leave them in the car. You will never meet anyone like Kev's dad. He is truly the Pharoh of Fun. Be that as it may, when you're a pre-teen boy, you probably don't want to go around town dressed like a Jawa with your dad and his robots. (Boy, I hope I don't get in trouble for pulling back the curtain a little on Kev's childhood...these stories need to be told, and Kev won't start his own blog in spite of my urging).

(If you would like to hear Mr.H. sing Blue Christmas with the PPHPHB (Elvis-style) use the band link on the right.)

Sock Monkey "Art" by Request...More Fun with Photo Editor

Sock Monkey B/W

Sock Monkey - Green 

Fun with Microsoft Photo Editor

OK, OK...enough already. Good thing I'll have a car tomorrow. Anyway, time to get in the kitchen and start working on some shepherd's pies. I apologize for today's blog onslaught.

Lakewood

I live in Lakewood. I like this font, so I took a picture.

Today I was car-less, and stranded at home, so in spite of the hot and the level orange pollution alert, I took a walk around the neighborhood and took some pictures. For some reason, someone stuck this doll on the telephone pole. You can't tell from the picture, but there is a hole right through its head. It has been there for at least three weeks.

Scenes from the Hood

Disturbing Doll

Lakewood Owl

The only owl in my neighborhood is this fake one. It is sitting on someone's window unit. I reckon there are no little birds crashing into the window here.

Hibiscus

I just thought these flowers were pretty. A good thing about my neighborhood is that many people have nice gardens.

Castle: Side View 

My house 

Castle: Front View

Please compare my house to this new house which is being constructed in my neighborhood. It is a monstrosity. It has two turrets. I think they are currently working on the moat.
Teardowns are causing a lot of tension in my neighborhood. I agree there are a lot of run-down houses around here that need to go. But the new construction is awful...too big for the lots, too West Plano for the area, no trees, no yards, etc. What really ticks me off is the double standard. If I went to a gated community in Plano and tried to build a house that looks like mine, do you think they would allow it? Certainly not.

Red Five Standing By

I am obsessed with Star Wars. I don't know why. I think I might be having Post-Star Wars-Letdown or something, since I know it's all over. We watched the original Star Wars (Episode 4) on Saturday night, and I was afraid it would seem a little hokey after all these years, but it wasn't. It was great. I was right in my other post. Without all the computer graphics, it was simpler, more about the story, and easier to follow. You knew that the X-Wing Fighters were the good guys and the Tie fighters were the bad guys. R2D2 and C3PO had much more interesting and entertaining dialogue. And Darth Vader was cool and scary.
We were gonna watch Empire Strikes Back last night, because I need to get this all out of my system, but Kev fell asleep after dinner, and when he woke up, he said he couldn't really go for popcorn. Kev pretty much has to have popcorn, or he just doesn't enjoy watching movies. So, maybe tonight we'll watch it. I'm not going to let him have seconds at dinner so he'll have room for a nice salty snack.

Eastern Screech Owl 1 

Eastern Screech Owl 2

This morning I recevied Email from Kev's sister who lives on Long Island. She was writing to report an owl-sighting, as she knew I would be excited. She sent the two photos posted above, and a short movie of these two eastern screech owls which she and her husband saw early Memorial Day morning. To learn more about Eastern Screech Owls, go here: http://www.enature.com/fieldguide/showSpeciesIMG.asp?imageID=17542

You can click on the bird audio icon from there to hear what an Eastern Screech Owl sounds like.

I am very jealous, because I have never seen an owl except at the bird show or the zoo. I dream about owls all the time. I recently had a dream that Kev and I were camping, and we saw an owl, and I said "Kev! It's a REAL owl! It's not just a dream this time!" and then I woke up. Dangit.

Last night I had a dream that I found a "Magnificent Tulip Bird" which was blue in front, but had tulip-shaped markings on it's back, and walked around saying "tu-lip, tu-lip." Don't ask me why. I might be going a little crazy.

Anyway, a big shout out to Kim and Marty for sending the cool owl pictures!

Loved it I didn't.

Warning: Do not read this if you haven't seen Revenge of the Sith yet.

Last night, Kev and I went to the Addison Studio Movie Grill to see Star Wars Episode 3. It was a good night out, and I'd like to take this opportunity to recommend the barbecue chicken wrap. It comes with very tasty sweet-potato fries. Studio Movie Grill is such a great concept, and I feel bad for people who don't have this as an entertainment option in their town. In fact, they should open one and make tons of money! Anyway, the movie. Well, first of all, it might have been more enjoyable without the table full of loud silly teenagers behind us. Thankfully they left about half-way through the movie. Now, I LOVE Star Wars. The first movie was the greatest thing going at the time it came out. We had the soundtrack and the Story of Star Wars album with the various scenes from the movie and the action figures and ships. We knew all the words. It was cool. The thing I liked about the original was that it was pretty simple. You could easily tell the good guys from the bad guys. The story was just as important as the effects. It was great. Empire Strikes Back was great too. Then for some reason, George Lucas went crazy and thought the next logical thing to do would be to add a bunch of giant puppet teddy bears. Needless to say, I was not a big fan of Return of the Jedi. But that's OK. Then came episodes 1 and 2, which certainly had their problems, Jar-Jar, terrible acting, etc., but it was at least interesting to see the back-story. Regardless, I will tell you I was really psyched about Episode 3. It looked really cool and dark from the previews, and would at last answer all of my questions about Darth Vader, who up to this point was my all time favorite movie villain. The acting was still bad, except for Ewan Mc Gregor and the guy who played Palpatine. Even Samuel L Jackson was bad. But I could deal with that. I didn't mind that R2D2 suddenly had the power of flight. I didn't even mind the long drawn-out and confusing battle scenes which seemed more there to showcase special effects than add to the plot. But when the newly-masked Darth Vader stumbled clumsily off his rack like something from Young Frankenstein, and screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." I actually laughed out loud. And then I was sad. Once you laugh at Darth Vader, he has no more cred as the best movie villain ever.
In spite of all this, I will see all the Star Wars episodes again, and if Lucas decides to make 7,8, and 9, I'll see those too. I still love Star Wars. Just not quite the same way I used to. It's lost some of the magic for me.

We saw some previews before the movie. I usually love previews. But Kev and I are convinced Hollywood is out of ideas. They are re-doing things left and right. And the few original movies look SO cheesy. There is a new Jamie Foxx one where a computerized jet-fighter-of-the-future develops a mind of its own and is going to destroy the world. Blah. He must have done this one before Ray.

I am looking forward to Madagascar though, and I can't wait for March of the Penguins.

I welcome your hot Star Wars opinions if you have them.

G-Sale

Our new-ish across-the-street neighbor just had a 20 minute garage sale. He set up one table and one rack of clothes. It was pretty sad-looking. Then he stood behind his table wearing very shiny blue track pants and waited for customers. I only saw one guy stop by. Now there is a big storm a'brewin' and he's taking his stuff back inside. I bet he didn't make one dollar. I was going to use his garage sale as an opportunity to go say hello and introduce myself, but our shiny-pantsed neighbor was on his cell phone the whole time. Or was he? Maybe he was pretending to be on his phone to look like he has friends, or to keep his neighbors from coming over to chat. I read an article about that. Something like 75% of people with cell phones have pretended to be on them at some point to either look busy or important. I wonder if the annoying lady at Central Market was pretending to talk on her cell phone this morning over by the ears of corn. She was talking very loudly about people with "sophisticated palates." Gimme a break. It's just corn.

Rescued Cat

http://img16.echo.cx/img16/6562/cat8wf.jpg

Here is the cat that Cousin Ben rescued from the drywall. Very funny picture.

LRHS Setback

According to the Tacoma Rainiers official web site, the Official Minor League Basball Player of the LRHS, Tim Rall, has been sent back to San Antonio. We are certain this is temporary, and that Tim will be back in AAA before too long. Hopefully this means we'll get another chance to see him pitch in the meantime. Anyway, I've been thinking about these minor league guys and how hard it must be on them. In a matter of two weeks, Tim had to move from San Antonio to Tacoma and then back again. How does he do it? What about his stuff? What about his apartment? At least he's single. Can you imagine if he had a family, kids and stuff? This seems like a good subject for a book to me, if any of you are looking for a topic. Life in the Minor Leagues. So, hang in there Tim...we are pulling for you.

All this baseball talk has me thinking about when I was a much bigger baseball fan as a kid. My grandma and grandpa used to take me and my cousin Curt to Cincinnati to see the Reds play a lot during the 1970's era of the Big Red Machine. I LOVED it. I was always in awe of the whole scene, sitting in the stands watching guys I saw on TV all the time. I especially loved the opportunities to shout CHARGE at the top of my lungs. It wasn't often it was OK to be loud, so I made the most of it. One time we went on autograph day, and I got to meet Dan Driessen and George Foster. But my favorite player was the great Davey Concepcion. I had a poster of him in my room. I thought he was the coolest. And I spent hours playing with the basball cards I cut off the back of Ding Dongs boxes. We still have them...I think my brother has them. I can still picture some of them clearly in my head...Rusty Staub, Bake McBride, Dave Parker. I wish baseball was still untainted by greed and drugs. Well, maybe things will change. Meanwhile, I will continue to support Minor League Baseball.

The Munster's House

On Christmas Eve last year, we tried to go bowling, but it was closed. So then we ended up driving to Rhinebeck NY, home of the Munster's house. Here it is. That was a fun day, plus it wasn't hot outside.

UPDATE:

After doing a little searching on the internet, I have found pictures of the Munster's house that look nothing like this house, and I can not find anything connecting the Munsters to Rhinebeck NY. I am wondering if someone is pulling my leg.

UPDATE 2:

This house actually looks more like the Addam's family's house, but I still can find no connection to Rhinebeck. Maybe this Munster's thing is just something New York people like to tell us gullible southern folk. Let's get Tara! She'll believe anything! When I first met Kev, he showed me a picture he took of the Vanderbilt Mansion in Hyde Park, and told me it was his parents' house. I believed him. I had no reason not to. Now there's this Munster's thing. I just don't know what to believe anymore.

Truth or Plot?

According to NBC5i.com, it is supposed to rain every day for the next 5 days, bringing the temperatures back down into the 80s. It is awfully sunny out, and I didn't see any big storms approaching on the radar picture, so I checked with WFAA Chan.8...same forecast. Hmm. Could it be true, or did the meteorolgical community get together and design a fake forecast to give us hope and make us feel better so we'll stop blaming them for the weird heat-wave? Then, if they are "wrong," they can just shrug their shoulders and say, well, looks like it missed us! I decided to check the national forecast on weather.com. They predict rain every day for the next TEN days. I hope they're right, but I'm very suspicious. Meanwhile, do I water my plants? If I do, it means a minimum of 5 mosquito bites, probably more. Do I take my umbrella to work? That would almost guarantee it WON'T rain.

I talked to Kev's mom last night. She lives in Upstate New York. "It's freezing here, it's 50 degrees," she kept saying. I told her she'd get no sympathy from me.

UPDATE:

My apologies to the Channel 5 team of meteorologists and their colleagues. We are having a huge and wonderful storm.

Boring

Where did they get those bland boring Celine Dion-sounding songs they had to sing on American Idol tonight? Yuck-o!

LRHS Song Retirement Nominations

I think there are some songs that should retire. We've heard them enough. This means they could no longer be played in public places like the radio, weddings, baseball stadiums, basketball arenas, etc. People could listen to them at home, of course, but not in public. Since I realize NEVER is a long time, I would be willing to compromise and let these songs come out of the vault in, say, 20 years, be played once, and then put back in for another 20. I just feel like there are some songs that we don't really need to hear anymore, even some decent songs like Hotel California. Let's make room for some new songs to be overplayed! Here is my list of nominations:

Hotel California
YMCA
Turning Japanese
Black Dog
Sweet Home Alabama
Freebird
Old Time Rock and Roll (kryptonite!)
Six Flags song
Achy Breaky Heart
I Believe I Can Fly
Born in the USA
American Woman
Magic Carpet Ride
I am starting to realize I could go on and on all day, so I will stop there. Please feel free to submit your own nominations!

Doi Doi Doi Doi...

When I was in high school, some friends of mine invented the word DOI. A doi is a person with bangs that hang in their eyes, they are really sensitive, and they have a spiral notebook that they carry around for when they need to write down their thoughts, or maybe a poem about sadness or rain. "Doi" is supposedly the sound effect that goes along with writing in the spiral: Doi doi doi doi doi...and so forth. Feel free to use this word so maybe it will take off and end up in the OED someday. I bring this up because I gave Kev a notebook yesterday with tiny staff paper lines, for when he has a song idea (he tends to forget the ones he doesn't write down). And he said, "Do I have to go doi doi doi doi when I write in it?" I thought it was funny, because I don't even remember telling him the story of doi, but he remembered hearing it.
I guess one could argue that blogging has a certain amount of doi-ness about it. But not really.