What's so Funny About Arkansas and Oklahoma?

Ah, the soothing sounds of jack-hammers in the morning! In an attempt to recreate my vacation serenity, I took a walk in my neighborhood this morning. In spite of all the city noise, it was pretty OK. There were birds and flowers and it was misting, which created the illusion of fresh clean air.

I know most people's vacation destination lists probably do not include Arkansas and Oklahoma, but I'll tell you what, these places have a lot going for them. They both have lots of nice State Parks, and lakes (real ones that weren't made by the army corps of engineers), and wildlife, and mountains. Not big mountains, but mountains nonetheless. Where we stayed, at Mt. Nebo, I think the elevation was about 1200-something. That reminds me, on our way home yesterday, we drove through the confusingly-named East Texas towns of Mt. Vernon and Mt. Pleasant. These are places where the speedbumps and the fire-ant mounds are competing for the honor of highest elevation. I imagine a long long time ago, the town's founder saying to his wife, "Hey, Marge, maybe if we call this place Mt. Pleasant, lots of people will pioneer themselves on out here and we'll have ourselves a town!" And who wouldn't want to live in a place called Mt. Pleasant? If I was in charge, these kinds of bad town-naming practices wouldn't be allowed. It's just false advertising.

Anyway, at Mt. Nebo, it was delightfully cool and had REAL fresh clean air, and big tall trees, and no noise except the wind and the birds. You don't realize how loud the city really is until you are in a quiet spot in the woods. And right now, Arkansas is covered in Indian Paintbrush. I recommend a drive in Arkansas on State HWY 7 between Russellville and Hot Springs. The road winds up and down hills through the Ouachita (Wa-chi-tah) National Forest. Very very pretty. Arkansas is doing something right. It used to smell like cabbage, so improvements have clearly been made.

Holidays are Nice

We returned from our trip this afternoon, and I feel relaxed and serene. Rather than bore you with every detail of the trip, here are some highlights, followed by a few pictures which you can scroll through quickly, as I know other people's vacation photos aren't fun for most people.

• Had fun in Paris, grilled, played music in the yard all day, went to the Tower, played with good dogs and nice kids, watched BAD HORRIBLE AWFUL "Sheer Dallas," and went to a diner for special waffles with a side of grits. Oh, and had strawberry pie.
• (Not so) FUN FACT: In Paris, you can still smoke in diners.
• Drove through Oklahoma (Cherokee Nation) to Mt. Nebo, hiked, made corn chowder, saw 3 new birds and lots of old birds, met a good dog (see photos), played kazoo accompanied by Kev on guitar, saw lots of wildflowers, got slaughtered at dominoes, and mostly just didn't think about bad stuff.
• FUN FACT: The state bird of Oklahoma is the Scissor-tailed flycatcher. This is a really cool looking bird that you will see on telephone wires, especially near open fields. If you want to see how pretty they are, go over the the Audubon Link. There is a picture on the home page.
• FUN FACT: Mt. Nebo State Park has really nice clean cabins and a friendly staff! I hope one of the Rangers will adopt the good abandoned dog.

I missed reading everyone's blogs. It is good to be home. Whitney says she will blog more.

Extra thanks to Whitney and Bob for hosting...we had lots of fun.

Ralph Monkey Goes to Paris 

Whitney and her nice family. 

Future Member of the PPHPHB 

Dog on morning walk. 

The Rim Trail 

Kev as Danger Man (Tara (not pictured) as Unhappy Fretting Wife)

Turkey Vulture 

Ralph watching the sunset. 

Dog enjoying Sunrise Point 

Being a Dork is Cool!

Last night I told Kev about EarthFest 2005. Do you know what he said? "That's dorky." Now them's fightin' words. I want to know who it was that decided that caring about the planet is dorky? Why is it dorky to watch birds, but cool to hunt and kill birds? Why is it dorky to ride around on a clean quiet bike while wearing a helmet, but cool to drive around town on a big loud pollutey motorcycle with no helmet? Why is it dorky to play a violin, but cool to be able to throw a round orange ball through a hoop? Why is it dorky to read books and learn stuff, but cool to shop-lift, be unemployed, and smoke cigarettes? I am on a campaign to make dorky the new cool. Who's with me?

And I'll tell you what else, while I'm at it. I LIKE MANY HALL AND OATES SONGS!

Hey, we are going on little trip this weekend, first to Paris Texas to see my friend Whitney and her nice family, then to Mt. Nebo State Park in Arkansas to stay in a cabin in the woods and hike and look for birds and critters. I am hoping to have tales of adventure upon our return. Have a good weekend.

Deep Thoughts

My friend Whitney just started to blog and said she is intimidated because she feels like she needs to have something profound to say. I think that's funny. I don't think I could have a profound thought if I tried. I'd rather read people's amusing stories than their deep thoughts anyway. Today while I was doing some of the work I do for my parents, a really mindless task of tearing off perforated checks to deposit, I monitored my thoughts to see if they were profound. Here is a little peek into the conversations I have in my brain (it should be noted that I was listening to Classic Alternative on Sirius radio at the time):

I like INXS. Poor Michael Hutchins. This sucks. Damn, out of sticky-notes. Where are the extra sticky notes? Here they are. Ooh! Look at all these great colors! I love what they've done with sticky notes. I want to go to Super Target and get some sticky notes for work. Maybe these cool blue ones. Why couldn't I have invented sticky notes? Gene Lovese Jezebel! I saw these guys at a party in the Hard Rock cheese club. They were nice. Boy, that guy is really trying hard to stay in tune. This song is pretty bad. Joy Division! I hate this song. They played this last time I was here. Why do all these singers kill themselves? I could really go for some cinnamon toast. Oh, the Go-gos! I need to get a Go-go's CD. Maybe Jeff can copy me some stuff off...what's that thing called? I can't remember. Dang, that's gonna drive me nuts. I wonder if my parents have any bread....

And so forth. REAL profound.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like inside Kev's brain. He says he can turn off his thoughts anytime he wants. I don't believe him. In my world, there is no such thing as head silence. It is constant chatter in there. Kev, I think, thinks about math a lot. And sometimes, he has real Rain Man moments and will say something like, "Did you know golf spelled backwards is flog?" I would have had to write that down to figure it out. He invents songs in his head, too. I wish I could do that. But the thing I most envy is the head silence. I'd give anything for that. I don't think Kev would like to try going into my brain. I think it would make him really tired, and probably confused.

Fine Young Cannibals!

Well, I am going to go watch American Idol before I go to work. My dad Tivo-ed it for me. I already know that the girl with the big round hair got voted off, but I'm gonna watch it anyway. It is good to watch the Tivo'ed version, because you can FFWD through the crappy bits. It oughta take me about 10 minutes to watch. Then maybe I can go to Super Target for some sticky notes!

Train

To set an example for the LRHS Challenge, I took the train to work today. It created lift for several reasons. First, it made me feel good about not driving my car and creating pollution. Also, I didn't have to deal with the stress of driving on Central through the high-five. Also, I got some exercise, as it is .8 miles from the train station to my office. Also, it is a beautiful day and not at all hot. When I got off the train, I went to the coffee shop for a sandwich. (By the way, if anyone is interested in a profitable venture, you should put a Smoothie Factory at the Dowtown Plano station.) Then I walked through a nice neighborhood, where there is a good house I like to look at, with a wrap-around porch and a swing and some rocking chairs (at 17th and Ave H.) Then I got to work and I wasn't stressed out from driving or sweaty from walking.
On the train, I found out via the scrolling ticker, that next Friday there will be an Earthfest downtown. (If you want info go to www.dallascityhall.com )The ticker also has Fun Facts. Today I learned that originally, all M-n-M's were brown, until 1960. I also learned that not drinking enough water can cause anxiety. I wish they would put me in charge of their Fun Facts. I reckon I could come up with some better ones.
Our train driver was cool, and announced each station with great gusto. He also had to scold a passenger who was standing in the doorway at a station, keeping it from closing. I remember once when Kev got scolded on the streetcar in New Orleans for putting his feet up on the seat.
There were not really any interesting passengers to talk about, like the lady who smelled like balogna, or the other lady who told me I had witchcraft in my shoes, or the cartoon slipper-wearing gang members, or the guy who kept shouting out YES! because he knew the answers to the trivia questions on the ticker. Maybe on the way home.

Take the LRHS Challenge

Earth Day is coming. April 22. So I am challenging all 2 or 3 readers of the LRHS to do at least one small thing every day that is nice to the planet between now and Earth Day. Here are some ideas:

• Take the train to work.
• Bring your lunch to work so you don't have to drive to get it.
• Pick up some litter
• Shut down your computer for the day, or at least overnight.
• Get an oil change
• Buy some organic produce
• Plant something at your house
• Turn off the lights
• Take a super-fast shower
• Wash the dishes by hand
• Feed the birds

There is a lot you can do.

Last night I saw a good program on KERA called Journey to Planet Earth, which was very informative in spite of being hosted by Matt Damon. It is a series, and I recommend it.

Go Team Earth!

Dark Days at Mayham

Some of you may be thinking, that Tara is always trying to be so cheerful about stuff, it's so annoying, blah blah blah. But I will tell you I wasn't always like this. Here is a story of dark days.

The summer after high school, my friends Whtiney and Bryce got an apartment in a very questionable complex on Mayham Road at LBJ and Central. It is shocking that their mothers let them live in this place. But they did, so we all had a place to hang out. It was a bad summer for me. I was transitioning away from heavy metal and into the unknown. I was getting ready to go off to UNT in the fall to study - get this - business. I had no ambition. I was 17. I think what I probably thought I wanted to do at the time was work my way up the Sound Warehouse ladder of success, and maybe if I was lucky I could weasle my way into a job at a record company as the girl who goes around to the Sound Warehouses to put up posters. Everyone wanted this job. Those people got a lot of free stuff like CDs and tickets to big rock shows and backstage passes.
Anyway, every night, a bunch of people would gather at the Mayham apartment, because it was the only place to go. At any given time, there could be 15 or 20 people over there. There would always be a couple hours of doing hair and make-up. This was the guys. I can hear Bryce now..."It wasn't make-up...it was European Theatrical Grease-Paint." I stand corrected. Before grease-paint was applied, mohawks had to be achieved. Those guys kept Aqua-net in business through the late 1980's. I don't know what the primping was all about, because I don't actually remember ever going anywhere except for Denny's.
One night this guy Dino came over. I don't know which cat dragged him in. I think Bryce or somebody met him at the mall and thought he was cool or something. Dino was all bedraggled and punk, with a 12 inch mohawk and the most horrific B.O. you have ever smelled. Dino had a posse of two or three semi-normal guys whose names all started with "J". Once Dino found out about the apartment, he was there ALL the time. One night, Dino and the J's went to the mall and returned with a Ouija Board and a giant machete. Nobody in their right mind would sell any sharp object much less a machete to someone who looked like Dino, so that tells you about the kind of people who worked in the knife store at the mall. During play with the Ouija Board (such utter nonsense) Dino mentioned to someone that he often had homicidal thoughts. It was about that time that someone, I think Bryce, told Dino he was no longer welcome at the apartment. Mayham became slightly less interesting, but smelled a lot better.
Several video tapes were big players at Mayham. The ones I remember most were "Another State of Mind" which was the story of the first Social Distortion tour. It had lots of curse words. Most of my friends had the thing memorized. Another was "The Great Rock and Roll Swindle" which featured Malcolm McClaren and his tiny friend, and a song whose only lyric was "Who killed Bambi" which was repeated over and over in increasingly annoying silly voices. I am pretty sure that both of these films are terrible, and not worth watching, even for nostalgia.
Most of the time, I would get to the apartment early and find a spot on the couch, and watch the goings-on until it was time to go to Denny's.
I was not cheerful then. I complained a lot. If you would have told me I'd eventually like puppies and birds and little children, I would have thought you were nuts.
At least I learned about some good music during that time.
And in case you are wondering, everyone turned out OK. They all have jobs and families and normal hair now.

Waiting for Cameron

Here I am in my flourescently-lit office once again, thinking about how green my skin looks in here, waiting for my last kid of the day, and blogging. Now, I blog for my own personal fun and satisfaction, and not for anyone else. With that said, I have to admit it sure is fun to get lots of comments like on my last entry. Thanks for participating in the LRHS!

Thanks to Tall Guy for listening to the PPHPHB, and for telling other people to listen to it. Sorry you have a cold.

Marty - Funny, I thought bee-keeping would be right up Kim's alley for some reason. Maybe because, like Kevin, she is good at everything, and I figured DIY honey would be something she'd go for. I am SO hoping you guys really will come down for the July baseball games. I promise there will be lots of fun and big southern breakfasts. But it will be really really horribly unbearably hot.

Robert M. - Squidward is funny. Did you see the one where he tries to get a band together? Genius.

K.- You may be a little ornery at times, but not as whiney as Squidward. Thank God.

I have recently become fascinated with Hitler documentaries. There is no end to the madness with this guy. If you can handle a very heavy film, check out Downfall. Very interesting, and extremely well-acted.

I have also become very depressed to discover that I am getting old-lady hands. The silver hairs are OK, but the hand thing is upsetting.

I think the makers of razors and razor accessories are conspiring against the American people. They keep changing the razors so we have to up-grade. First there were two blades, then three, then FOUR. I guess they figured five blades wouldn't fly (Americans are too smart for that!), so now there is a button you can push on your razor, making it Turbo, or some such. I recently had to trade in my Venus razor, which I was perfectly happy with, for a Venus Divine (for crying out loud) with an extra moisturizing strip. I imagine there are people with names like Frank, Bob, and Liz, sitting around a table in a board room, trying to come up with the new big thing in razor technology. I think these are the same people who keep coming up with more and more ways to put extra cheese on your pizza pie. As if Americans need more cheese. So, let me know if you would like to join in my fight against better razors, more cheese, and higher parking fees at rock shows and sports events (previous blog). We CAN make a difference!

Also, LarryFeathers has returned to blogging.

Sunday Blog Melange

Greetings. Kev is taking a nap, and I am having some quiet time. Today has been a fun day so far. My brother came over for some breakfast tacos. Then we played Scattergories. Then we all went down to the SPCA to look at Melvin and the other good dogs and cats. Melvin is HUGE. At least his head is huge. He has really short legs. And he was very sad. I think maybe he might be sick. He was very nice, and I assured him that someone would come to take him home soon. I hope I'm right. There were tons of good dogs there. There was a litter of really nice Australian Shepherds. Very docile. So we played with the puppies, and produced lots of seratonin and lowered our blood pressure and went home. I love going to see the dogs, but it always makes me sad. I am worried about what will happen to Melvin if he doesn't get a home soon. There was also a cat there that looked just like Archie (before he got fat), and that made me sad too.

Right now I am typing in the dark with the blinds closed because the in-danger-of-joining-a-gang kids who go around selling magazines to keep them off the streets are coming. Yesterday, we had to hide from the Jehova's Witnesses. I'm thinking about getting one of those "No Soliciting" signs. Is that unfriendly?

Kev has been working on a song about Barbec's that I already told you about. He has a little clarinet part in mind, which he said he wanted me to play. (We brought home my sister-in-law's clarinet at Christmas because she never plays it). Anyway, yesterday he went to buy some reeds, and came back with a book called "So You Want to Play the Clarinet," but should be called "So You Want to Torture Your Neighbors and Make Your Own Head Explode." Before I was past page two ("Squeaks Happen") which was all about learning to produce one nice long clear note with just the mouthpiece and barrel, Kev had the whole thing assembled, and I'll be damned if he wasn't playing Row Your Boat, Frere Jacques, and Fly Me to the Freaking Moon. So much for my big clarinet solo in the Barbec's song I guess. Have you ever lived with someone who can do EVERYTHING better than you? I reckon I could take him in a tap-dancing contest (did you know I can do a quadruple time step?!), but that's about it. Good thing I'm not competative.

Note to "LarryFeathers" and "K" - according to dictionary.com, a capitol is a building. a capital is a city. That gives me another scattergories point, which means I WIN! YES!

Note to "Marty"- Thanks to a video tape we received in the mail, we have now seen every last nook and cranny of your house (very nice by the way - especially the record player), not to mention the Pfaltzgraf store and someone named Carrie's house, so we may no longer need to come to Long Island. I did not see any bee-keeping supplies on the tour. By the way, does Tim still play for San Antonio? I think they are coming up here in a month or so to play the Rough Riders.

Well, the Sunday Crossword is calling me. Hope you all had a nice weekend.

Oh! Almost forgot. Shout Out to Kev's soccer team for making it to the final!

Here's how Melvin can help YOU!

May 21, 2004 -- Giving a dog a good tummy rub may do more than just make Fido feel better. New research shows people may also reap the benefits of petting a pooch, and you don't even have to roll over.
Researchers found petting a dog prompted levels of the "feel good" hormone serotonin to rise in humans and may help fight depression.
"Our preliminary results indicate that levels of serotonin, a hormone in humans that helps fight depression, rise dramatically after interaction with live animals, specifically dogs," says researcher Rebecca Johnson, professor of nursing and veterinary medicine at the University of Missouri-Columbia, in a news release. "This hormone is critical in the psychological well-being of an individual. In addition, we have discovered that there is no substitute for the real thing."
The study also tested the effects of petting a robotic dog and showed interacting with an electronic dog actually caused serotonin levels to drop.
Researchers say the findings provide further evidence that having a dog as a pet can offer valuable social support and companionship.
Johnson presented the findings at the Companion Animals: Fountains of Health conference at Barcelona Autonomous University last month.
One More Reason Dogs Are Man's Best Friends
The study involved 50 dog owners and 50 non-dog owners. Each of the dog owners interacted with their own dog, an unfamiliar dog, and a robotic dog. The non-dog owners visited with an unfamiliar dog and a robotic dog.
After the interactions, both the canine and human participants had their blood and mood (or behavior in the case of the dogs) analyzed.
The study showed that serotonin levels in humans rose significantly after playtime with the live dog.
"In addition to serotonin, we also are seeing increases in the amounts of prolactin and oxytocin, more of those 'feel good' hormones," says Johnson.
"Our research also is trying to determine what types of people would best benefit from being with animals," says Johnson. "By showing this benefit, we can help pet-assisted therapy become a medically accepted intervention that might be prescribed to patients."
"We also need to study how the animals react to this attention," says Johnson. "It's important to know when we take dogs to nursing homes or hospitals for therapy if they are feeling any kind of stress. We need to find the right balance where both animals and humans can benefit from interacting with each other."
The study was funded by a grant from the Skeeter Foundation from Veterinary Pet Insurance.
SOURCES: Companion Animals: Fountains of Health conference, Barcelona Autonomous University, April 2004. News release, University of Missouri-Columbia

Melvin! 

Good Dogs Alert

If you want to see some good dogs, go to my link to the SPCA and click on the search for dogs. Then search the gallery for the Dallas location, and you will see some great dogs including Melvin (or Caesar or Buck or Lucille). If any of you adopt Melvin, can I come over to visit?

In other animal news: Today I was at work and saw my American Kestrel on the wire behind my building. Then his wife came by, and if I am not mistaken, there may be some baby kestrels on the way soon! I feel a little sorry for them that they live on Central Expressway in the Ramada Inn signage. But it's lucky for me I guess.

Note to Tall Guy: Cane Toad is a documentary about the Cane Toad problem in Australia. It is very funny and well-done. Some people are FOR cane toads and keep them as pets. Others are AGAINST cane toads, and try to run over them with their trucks for sport. I think that's mean.

Question for the Lama

Dear Your Holiness,

First time writer, long-time listener.

How am I supposed to practice patience and tolerance for people who recklessly zip in and out of traffic lanes during rush hour on Central Expressway, nearly side-swiping my and several other people's cars, thus endangering the lifes of many just because he/she is in a hurry or wants to show off?

Respectfully yours,

Concerned in Dallas

P.S. I enjoy your books!

My Abduction

While I am waiting for my last kid of the day, I thought I would tell you a story, rather than playing computer solitaire. Here it is: The other day I was driving east on Mockingbird Lane because I was headed to my parents' house to do some work for them, which I do twice a week. So, anyway, I travel this route at least twice a week and sometimes more. I have done so for several years, as I like to always keep to the same route whenever I'm driving someplace I've been before. (Walking is a different story, but that is for another time and blog). So, there I was on Mockingbird Lane, only suddenly, I had no idea where I was! Panic ensued. It must have taken me at least 30 of the longest seconds of my life to figure out where I was. I also could not remember how I got where-ever it was that I was. Imagine how completely dorky I felt when I realized I was about a mile from my house on a well-traveled route. So I figure I must have been abducted by aliens. Because, frankly, the radio program to which I was listening wasn't really engrossing. I think it was about Bush's Social Security plan or something equally as boring. So I don't think I lost time from being caught up in public radio. I am also almost positive I wasn't asleep. There was no sensation of nodding off, nor was there the usual upward head jerk that one would expect when waking from falling asleep sitting up. Alien abduction is really the only reasonable conclusion I can draw.
Plus, a couple of nights later, I had a dream about a tree full of owls. You all know what that means.

I have inspected behind both ears for probes, but there don't appear to be any. Perhaps the aliens read Whitley Streiber's books and have become more clever about covering their tracks.

Funny thing is, I don't believe in aliens.

Tips from the LRHS

1. If you want to do something fun on a Tuesday afternoon, go to the bowling alley on Plaza Drive off of NW HWY in Garland for some bowling. We went there yesterday, and there was almost nobody in the place, so it was not crowded or smokey. In fact, there was only one other couple in there...a little old man and lady. The weird thing was that even though there were like 50 lanes in there, the dude put the old couple in the lane right next to us, so we had to watch out not to say any curse-words when we got gutter balls. I got several gutter balls, which was disappointing because I am usually better than that. Kev did really well. I had to wash my hands a lot when we finished. I felt pretty grimey from the bowling alley.

2. If you want some good Italian food, try Carrabba's on Abram's in Lakewood. We ate there last night for our anniversary because my brother gave us a gift card for Christmas. I had the "Chicken Bryan' which was grilled chicken with goat cheese and sun-dried tomatoes (which I scraped off - no problem) and basil lemon sauce, with a side of garlic mashed potatoes and lentil-sausage soup. VERY tasty! Kev had "Pollo Rosa Maria" which was grilled chicken stuffed with fontina cheese with mushrooms and basil lemon sauce on top. His was great too. Then we shared a creme brulee for dessert. All of the food was great, the service was great, and it wasn't crowded. So Carrabba's gets a big thumbs up from the LRHS. Plus it's not that expensive, and it's pretty casual. They have more locations. One is in Plano, dangerously close to my office.

3. If you want to save money on your anniversary, adopt a "no gift" policy, go bowling ($3 per game!), and use a gift certificate from Christmas to go out to dinner.

4. If you are already full after dinner, skip dessert or you'll be sorry. (Sorry Kev, my fault).

Anniversary

Today is Kevin's and my second anniversary. I took the day off from work so we could have fun. This morning we took a bike ride. I think we are going bowling this afternoon, and out to dinner tonight with a gift certificate we got for Christmas. Kev is having a hard time celebrating because he is fretting about jobs and taxes. He is working on a couple of good new songs. I am supposed to be writing the lyrics, but I am having a hard time. I need to be really worked up about something, and then the lyrics just come out, like with Pancho, and Sock Monkey Man, and Gay Tim Duncan (which sadly was never recorded due to Kev and I can't rap). Anyway, those songs took about 10 minutes to write. The new song is about Barbec's, which should be easy right, because everyone knows how much I love breakfast. But I'm struggling.

Anyway, I just don't know about poetry. We saw some poets at the Deep Ellum arts festival on Sunday. They were bad. One guy's poem went like this: "Get up, eat breakfast, fight traffic, work all day, fight traffic, eat dinner, go to bed, get up..." you get the idea. Another lady did dramatic readings from Dr. Seuss books. Don't get me wrong. I am a big fan of people who have a way with words. But I think I prefer prose. I like it when people can say something very ordinary in an extraordinary way. My friend Bryce can do this, and he doesn't even try. James Thurber is a master of it. Larry Feathers can do it. I studied a lot of poetry in college. I don't know. Maybe it's just not for everyone. Dorothy Parker's pretty good I guess. The poet laureate of the US was an insurance underwriter all his life because poets don't make any money.

So, happy anniversary, Kev. Don't fret. At least you aren't a poet. Or an insurance underwriter. Now, who's ready to bowl?!

In Response...

Hello! and thanks for all your recent comments. Sorry I haven't responded until now. Long day at work yesterday.

To "Tall Guy" - Thanks for commenting all the way from Australia! Good point about the Steve Martin movies. My favorites are the Jerk, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, and both of his novels are good, so maybe by the time I'm in a coma, they will be movies. By the way, "Tall Guy," are you a cardboard stand-up? Also, what is your position on Cane Toads? I enjoyed that movie quite a bit.

To "Marty" - Thanks for reading my blog! Actually Kev wasn't supposed to tell any of you guys about it, because I was hoping you wouldn't discover just how much of a complete dork I am, but that's OK I guess. I don't think I was hiding it very well anyway. Thanks again to you and your wife for the cool flags for Team Earth. I hope to find more postings at Elephants on Parade. The picture is very funny. And by the way, I am a Texan who has been to Long Island exactly twice. And I plan to return, so prepare the bee-suit! Hi to Kim, Jazz, and the great Rosco!

To "Robert M" - things having to do with the lama should never be considered "fightin' words." Also, Kev and I would love to go with you guys to an FCDallas match sometime. We have percussion instruments we could bring. Also, I am saddened by your hatred of baseball.

To "John Clarke" - If my neighbor can run a power sander all day on Sunday without blinking an eye, then I'm not gonna feel too bad about keeping bees. Maybe you and Karen should do it. I'm sure your yard is bigger than ours.

To "LarryFeathers" - please blog more. Readers want to know about gravy and motivational speakers.

To "K" - if there is one thing that will get me out of a coma, it's the snake noise.

Bee-Keeping

The other day when we were hanging out in the back yard, I asked Kev if he ever thought it might be fun to have some bees and make our own honey to use at home or to give as Christmas gifts. He thought this was just another one of my wacky schemes. But I thought it would be fun, especially when you get to wear the bee suit, and when you get to put your very own home-made honey on your toast or in your tea. The problem is our small back yard though, so bee-keeping may not be the hobby for us. Now, if we had a nice big piece of property on say, Long Island, then maybe bee-keeping would be more practical. So, if you happen to live on Long Island and have some space in your yard, then maybe you should try bee-keeping, and make sure to let visitors from Texas, who have small yards with no room for bees, wear the bee suit and taste the honey!

By the way, bees are most attracted to the colors yellow, white, and blue. And a queen bee can live up to 6 or 7 years!

Living Will

Due to recent events, my mom has asked me to put something in writing regarding my wishes should I become disabled and unable to speak for myself. I don't know if a blog is considered a legal document, but it's the best I can do since I can't afford ridiculous lawyers' fees. So all of you readers are my witnesses. Here goes:

First of all DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES starve me to death.

If I am in a coma, check for brain activity. Get at least 3 opinions. If there is no brain activity, for let's say 3 years, then remove me from machines that are keeping my organs going, but DO NOT REMOVE FEEDING TUBES! If keeping me going for 3 years is going to cost more than insurance will pay, then Kev and my parents are to sit down and come to an agreement in writing that everyone can live with (except me..haha). NO FIGHTING. If an agreement can't be reached, you guys will just have to fork out the dough for the three years.

If I have brain activity, but am not consious, try the following things to get me up and running again: bring in a puppy, make the room smell like coffee, warm chocolate chip cookies, or freshly baked bread, get Kev in there with his guitar to play some good songs, show DVDs of King of the Hill, Scientific American Frontiers (no submarine or disaster episodes please), Steve Martin movies, or Winged Migration, tell me about the trips to Alaska and the Galapagos Islands that I will get to go on when I wake up, and other things known to stimulate me. Let me listen to NPR on weekdays from 10am to 1pm. If you are desparate and have extra cash, see if you can get Elvis Costello in there to sing. That'll probably work.

If I have brain activity, and am concious, get a team of rehab professionals in there to work with me. I want PT-OT-SLP, and make sure they are good people who like their jobs and are not experiencing burn-out. Tell them I will respond to the above list of things I find stimulating.

While I am in the hospital, I want to be wearing house-pants and one of Kev's Calvin Klein white t-shirts. No hospital gowns, and PLEASE no frumpy quilted zip-up old lady house-coats. Make sure there is plenty of lip-balm handy, and hand lotion (fragrance-free!). I want a good pillow, preferably the ones they use in the staterooms on Royal Caribbean ships. Put me by a window, and put bird feeders where I can see them. Do not let anyone try to make me eat anything with mustard, mayo, onions, cabbage, veal, squid, etc. Kev knows what I like to eat, and more importantly, what I don't like. PLEASE DO NOT LET MY FEET GET COLD!

If I can't be saved, please bury me in the house-pants/t-shirt outfit. And clean white cotton ankle socks. No shoes. Put some pictures of people and dogs and cats I like in there with me. And if there is any way you can afford to keep me above-ground, please do.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. If I need to change anything, I will add amendments or something later. Thanks for being witnesses!

Bird Report for Friday

American Kestrel - Plano

This is one of the American Kestrels that hangs out near my office building. I wish I had a better zoom lens so you could see how cool it is. If you want to see them, go to the Benigan's parking lot on 75 between 15th and Park, and look for them on the power lines and lamp posts. They are the ones that aren't pigeons or grackles.

This morning, Kev and I went for a walk at White Rock Lake. We saw grackles, cardinals, doves, mallards, wood ducks, redwing blackbirds, cowbirds, killdeers, coots, gulls, great egrets, geese, a pelican, and mockingbirds. The coolest thing we saw was a bunch of barn swallows near the spillway. Very fun to watch, as they are fast and swoopy. This is a great time of year to go to the lake with people you like. Never know what you will see.

It will be kind of sad when Kev gets a job and we can't go the lake on a whim anymore. Plus, then I will have to return to being the cooker. I like cooking, but it has been so great coming home to Kev's fabulous meals.

In preparation for summer, I got a pedicure today. Oh, how I love getting a pedicure. I recommend it to everyone who wants happy feet. I fear the coming of summer. It is my goal to spend as much time as possible outside before the temperatures and mosquitos become unbearable. I have recently discovered the joy of lying on a blanket in my back yard. This is especially fun if there are chips and salsa (I prefer salsa verde), and not much wind.

If Kev and I go to Baja, CA for a friend's wedding in September, I am considering paragliding in San Diego. This involves jumping from a cliff (with a tandem pilot) and soaring above the Pacific Ocean for 25 minutes before landing on the beach below. Can you imagine how much fun that would be? I bet you anything I chicken out. It sucks to be such a wimp.

Well, sorry this blog is so bird-intensive. I tried to get some baseball talk started, but not much came of it. I hope everyone has a nice weekend.

Alarming News from the Scientists

People should listen to the scientists. Here is what they have to say, courtesy of Reuters:

OSLO, Norway (Reuters) -- Humans are damaging the planet at an unprecedented rate and raising risks of abrupt collapses in nature that could spur disease, deforestation or "dead zones" in the seas, an international report said on Wednesday.
The study, by 1,360 experts in 95 nations, said a rising human population had polluted or over-exploited two thirds of the ecological systems on which life depends, ranging from clean air to fresh water, in the past 50 years.
"At the heart of this assessment is a stark warning," said the 45-member board of the Millennium Ecosystem Assessment.
"Human activity is putting such strain on the natural functions of Earth that the ability of the planet's ecosystems to sustain future generations can no longer be taken for granted," it said.
Ten to 30 percent of mammal, bird and amphibian species were already threatened with extinction, according to the assessment, the biggest review of the planet's life support systems.
"Over the past 50 years, humans have changed ecosystems more rapidly and extensively than in any comparable time in human history, largely to meet rapidly growing demands for food, fresh water, timber, fibre and fuel," the report said.
"This has resulted in a substantial and largely irreversible loss in the diversity of life on earth," it added. More land was changed to cropland since 1945, for instance, than in the 18th and 19th centuries combined.
Getting worse
"The harmful consequences of this degradation could grow significantly worse in the next 50 years," it said. The report was compiled by experts, including from U.N. agencies and international scientific and development organizations.
U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan said the study "shows how human activities are causing environmental damage on a massive scale throughout the world, and how biodiversity -- the very basis for life on earth -- is declining at an alarming rate."
The report said there was evidence that strains on nature could trigger abrupt changes like the collapse of cod fisheries off Newfoundland in Canada in 1992 after years of over-fishing.
Ecosystems and the services they provide are financially significant and...to degrade and damage them is tantamount to economic suicide.
-- Klaus Toepfer, head of the U.N. Environment Program
Future changes could bring sudden outbreaks of disease. Warming of the Great Lakes in Africa due to climate change, for instance, could create conditions for a spread of cholera.
And a build-up of nitrogen from fertilizers washed off farmland into seas could spur abrupt blooms of algae that choke fish or create oxygen-depleted "dead zones" along coasts.
It said deforestation often led to less rainfall. And at some point, lack of rain could suddenly undermine growing conditions for remaining forests in a region.
The report said that in 100 years, global warming widely blamed on burning of fossil fuels in cars, factories and power plants, might take over as the main source of damage. The report mainly looks at other, shorter-term risks.
And it estimated that many ecosystems were worth more if used in a way that maintains them for future generations.
A wetland in Canada was worth $6,000 a hectare (2.47 acres), as a habitat for animals and plants, a filter for pollution, a store for water and a site for human recreation, against $2,000 if converted to farmland, it said. A Thai mangrove was worth $1,000 a hectare against $200 as a shrimp farm.
"Ecosystems and the services they provide are financially significant and...to degrade and damage them is tantamount to economic suicide," said Klaus Toepfer, head of the U.N. Environment Program.
The study urged changes in consumption, better education, new technology and higher prices for exploiting ecosystems.
"Governments should recognize that natural services have costs," A.H. Zakri of the U.N. University and a co-chair of the report told Reuters. "Protection of natural services is unlikely to be a priority for those who see them as free and limitless."
Copyright 2005 Reuters. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Wednesday Do-Over

Yesterday I typed a whole blog, and then it wouldn't let me publish so I got mad. I hope this works today. It sure is a nice day, so when I finish I think I will sit on my porch with the nice freshly painted floor and drink my coffee before I have to go to work. Kev has gone to help some Habitat for Humanity people build a porch. I am fully in favor, as Jimmy Carter is a big player in that organization. I told Kev to see if he could find out how wimpy girls like me could help.

Here are some fun facts:

• There are enough Lego on the planet for every person to have 30 pieces.
• Ukulele is the Hawaiian word for "jumping flea." (In yesterday's failed blog, I told the whole story of the uke, featuring Portuguese sailors and songs of thanksgiving and Hawaiian kings. Too bad it wouldn't publish).
• Songbirds like the wood thrush have two voice boxes, so they can sing two different songs at once.
• If you square any odd number except one, and then subtract one, you will always get a number that is divisible by eight. Example: 7 x 7 = 49, 49-1=48, 48 is divisible by 8. Try it!

It is migration time, so if you pay attention you might see some interesting birds passing through your neighborhood. Audubon society is sponsoring a whole month of nature activities for Dallas area people. For a calendar of these activities, go to www.destinature.org. A lot of them look really fun, and would be extra good if you have kids.

Hey, how does everybody think the Rangers are gonna do this year?

Enjoy the sun today. Here goes my attempt to publish...

Javier Returns!

As I type, Kev is outside painting our front porch. He has been working on it all day. I looked out the window at him a minute ago, and guess who else I saw! Javier! This is good and bad. I am so glad to know he is OK, but feel terrible about having to tell him we no longer need him to do our lawn. Kev, who pretends to be all tough usually, must have felt bad too, because he told Javier he could do some edging for us since we don't have an edger. Anyway, the funny thing about all of this is that half-way through Kev and Javier's conversation, Kev comes in the house and starts going through the CD holders in the living room. I said,"What's going on," and Kev said, "Javier wants one of our CDs." Weird, huh? Apparently, Javier noticed our guitars and started telling Kev how he plays guitar too, and bass, durms, keyboards, and vocals! So I think Javier might end up coming over sometime to jam with the house pants band. I wonder if Kev told him he needed housepants. Speaking of the band, we got a fan-mail! Here is what it said:


Hello K and T,

Welcome to the Freedom Exchange. I have to tell you, I just listened to three of your songs. (the ones you pointed out which had vocals) "Song For Poncho" had me almost in tears... and laughing at the same time. Great, great song, with wonderful vocals and really good musicianship. I think you folks are doing amazing things. Your music, and obvious talent, stands out in all these songs. Kudos all the way around. I've bookmarked you site, to go back and listen more. Most of all it sounds like you're having a great time doing it. That's what music should be about! Good job. I encourage anyone on the FE to go give a listen to the "Palo Pinto House Pants House Band"!!!

The freedom exchange is a website where Kev put our songs to get help with recording advice from home recording geeks. Kinda like the great Nowhere Radio. So, pretty good review, huh? I must make sure Julie and Rob see it.

It has been a rough and busy week for me at work, and I am happy the weekend is here at last. I think we are going to plan a trip to stay in the woods in a cabin by a lake with a canoe as soon as possible. This is a good cheap relaxing type of vacation. Just what I need. My silver hairs are multiplying exponentially (that spelling doesn't look right) lately, and I have noticed an increasing need to lie down flat on the floor (a big sign of Tara stress). Hopefully, all this stress will pay off with many new clients, leading to mo' money, leading to an Alaskan adventure or a new hybrid car.

Political update: Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison has not yet responded to my letter, fax, call, or email. Kev is worried that the FBI has started a file on us.

Have a very happy Easter, if you celebrate it. Don't eat peeps...they are bad for you.

Ruby Crown of Ruby Crowned Kinglet (Male)

Ruby Crowned Kinglet 

Bird of the Day

Ruby Crowned Kinglet

This morning, there was a ruby-crowned kinglet splashing around in the bird-bath in our back garden. RCKs are very cute birds who can't seem to sit still. Their wings constantly flicker. They are tiny birds, smaller even than chickadees. The one in my yard is getting ready for his journey to Cananda, or maybe even Alaska, to spend the summer. I wish I could spend summer in Canada or Alaska. I reckon we're gonna have a hot one this year. Anyway, if you live around here, pay attention, and maybe you'll see a ruby-crowned kinglet in your yard.

Melodicas For All! 

The Melodica: Portable and Fun!

Here is what www.melodicas.com has to say about melodicas:

Melodica is the name given to a wind instrument created by the German company Hohner in the late 1950’s. Variations of this keyboard have since been manufactured by numerous companies in different regions of the world, each giving the instrument a different name i.e. pocket piano, blow accordion, melodeon, diamonica, melodyhorn, wind piano, keyboard harmonica, pianica, cassotto, etc- enough to give this little instrument a massive identity crisis requiring an orchestra of therapists. This sites mission is to educate, sell & promote unusual keyboard instruments.

So thanks to Larry Feathers for the info. It is possible that the melodica is the instrument for me. I wish I could rent one for a couple days to try it out. I think it would add a lot to the PPHPHB sound. Kev says it's just another one of my phases.

Right now I am listening to the latest Elvis Costello CD. It is great. I forgot to tell you one more cool thing about the show. See, he had to be finished by 11:00pm. So instead of leaving and coming back for encores, which is silly if you think about it, he just played straight through, allowing time for at least two more songs during time that would have been wasted with the whole "if you clap and yell loud enough, I just might come back and do "Alison" " game. I hope this is a trend that will catch on.

I am about to meet one of my kids and his family for an afternoon of bowling to work on his social skills. Remind me not to complain about my job.

Elvis Costello and Good Mail

Greetings and Happy St. Patrick's day and happy birthday to my aunt Kathy, and happy wedding day to my cousin Crissy. I am still feeling pretty bad about yesterday's blow to Alaska, but in an attempt to be positive, here is some good stuff:

First of all, I went to the Elvis Costello show at Nokia Live in Grand Prairie with my brother on Tuesdsay night. This at least the 5th Elvis Costello show I have seen, and it was great as usual. Elvis Costello has my very favorite singing voice...nobody else sounds like him. One of the best parts of his show is when he goes off-mike and just sings. It's pretty amazing. His band was awesome, especially the great Steve Nieve who this time had a theramin among his various instruments. He was smart enough to use it effectively and sparingly. Too much theramin is not a good thing. Anyway, more proof that Elvis Costello is still good and still relevent. Go to see him if he comes to your town, and you will have a good time. Plus it's fun to watch a lot of white-people dances. Thanks to Jeff for the ticket.

Nokia Live is a pretty good venue. Our seats were great (center stage, about 15 rows back), and it seemed like pretty much any seat in the place was good. The people who worked there were friendly and seemed to like their jobs. My only complaint is the ridiculous 12 dollar parking fee. People should really revolt against that. As long as we keep paying it, they'll keep raising the price of parking.

The other night when I got home from work, I was happy and surprised to see I had received a package from Team Earth! Remember when I was talking about wanting to be on Team Earth? I guess some of their members read my blog, because they sent me a Team Earth flag, as well as an Ecology flag! It really made my day. I will admit I didn't know what the Ecology flag was, and searched the internet with no luck for about 20 minutes. When I left for the concert, Kev got on line and figured it out in about 2 minutes (of course). Anyway, thanks to the NY chapter of Team Earth for the cool and thoughful gift. I will post pictures of the flags soon.

All this steroid stuff is making me so mad. Oh wait, this is a blog of positivity, so I will skip the steroid talk.

Band news: I am excited to report that Rob and Julie have agreed to do some vocals for the PPHPHB once again, this time helping with the back-up to Blue Christmas. And Steve Nieve has inspired me to learn a new instrument, which is a small keyboard that you blow into. I don't know what it's called, but it sounds like a cross between a harmonica and an accordian. Kev has put his foot down, and won't let us get a sitar. I guess that's ok. Too much sitar is kinda like too much theramin.

Name that Axeman

Here is something fun to do if you like, or if you ever liked rock. I got 23 correct with Kev's help on a couple. Not sure if that's a good thing or not.

www.jbonamassa.com/heads.php

Thanks to Kev for the fun time-waster!

We lost the Vote.

Dear Tara,

Today the U.S. Senate voted by a razor-thin margin to take the first step towards drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as part of the Federal Budget Resolution. A bipartisan group of Senators attempted to safeguard this national treasure and the native people and wildlife that depend on it, but 51 Senators voted against an amendment to strip Arctic drilling revenues from the Budget Resolution.This obviously is a disappointment, but many hurdles remain before the budget is adopted and signed into law. The Sierra Club will continue working at every step along the way to keep this pristine wilderness from being despoiled forever.We owe our thanks and heartfelt appreciation to everyone who has helped with this fight by signing our petition, calling their Senators, and supporting the Sierra Club. We promise to keep you informed as the situation unfolds and to let you know when and how you can help in the future. We have lost this round, but the fight to save the Arctic Refuge continues. You can still make a difference by staying involved.

Thank you,
The Sierra Club

Received this from the Sierra Club today. Thanks to everyone who tried to helpby calling the number yesterday. It sucks, but it ain't over 'til it's over. If you want more info, check out sierraclub.org.
I immediately fired off an email to Texas senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, who voted against the amendment to stop the possibility of drilling. According to her website, she feels this is a matter of national security. What a bunch of baloney. Our other senator (Cornyn) voted the same way. Sometimes I really hate Texas. Please forgive me. I'm just really mad. Tomorrow when I am not so mad, I will blog about the great Elvis Costello, and cool mail I got from Team Earth.

Important! Action Alert!

Hello to all of you who like reading the LRHS. I would like to ask you to do me a giant favor. Please take 5 minutes to call 1-888-894-5325, and enter your zip code, so a fax will be sent to your US Senator asking them to oppose drilling in the Artic Refuge in Alaska. If drilling occurs, it will destroy a lot of pristine land, and endanger a lot of wildlife. The President and his administration claim drilling will reduce dependency on foreign oil, however the US Geological Survey has reported that there is only 6 months to a year's worth of oil in that region anyway. I am sorry that I am not very good at conveying how critical it is that no drilling occurs. I am bad at politics. But this is REALLY REALLY important to me, so I hope you will all make the quick call. At the end of the call, if you want to make an even stronger point, they will connect you to your senator's office so you can tell them yourself. You don't have to do this part, you can just hang up after the fax is sent. I was kind of nervous about talking to a senator, but I did it anyway, and only had to talk to the receptionist. All you have to say is,"I am calling to urge the Senator to oppose drilling in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge." But again, even if you just send the fax, that will be awesome. Please do this. It only takes a couple minutes. Thank you thank you thank you from me and the birds, polar bears, caribou, and other critters. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!! Please do it ASAP...the vote is this week! Thanks!

My New Friend 

Blue Christmas Recording Session 

Quiet Time

Back at work after a big weekend. Kev's parents head back to NY tomorrow. I hope they have had fun. We have done a lot...Arboretum, Fort Worth Zoo, shopping, eating, recording. I am having some quiet time right now. I have a break right now between clients, and I just wanted to report that at 3:15 I left the building to do an errand, and there was the smokey lady. Got back at 3:55, and guess what. Smokey lady. I also saw one of the Kestrels in the parking lot. It had some kind of prey, and did not like it when I got too close, so it flew away.

Props to the Fort Worth Zoo. I got to commune with birds. I will post a picture or two later. Still, I have mixed feelings about zoos, and wanted to set the animals free. The gorillas seemed particularly depressed. I won't tell you what one of them picked up off the ground and started to eat.

I will be going off food for a while after Kev's parents leave. Popcorn and ice cream have been big players this weekend.

Kev's dad recorded the vocals to Blue Christmas for us. He did a regular Floyd version, and one where he "Elvis-ed it up." I reckon we'll put it on Nowhere radio as soon as Mixmaster K is through with it.

Special note to John: Kev bought a mower. Our yard looks nice now.

A very very special shout out to any LRHS readers on Long Island and their good boxer dog. Come to Texas. We will give you all the biscuits and gravy and barbecue you want.

Tomorrow night is the Elvis Costello show. I am very excited. The problem is that my brother never received the tickets in the mail, so we don't know what's gonna happen when we get there.

We took Kev's mom and dad to Uncle Calvin's to see Lowen and Navarro. Their music is very singer-songwritery, and about 2/3 of their songs were about rain. I'm not exaggerating. The best thing about Uncle Calvin's is coffee and pie.

I hope everyone had a good weekend and took advantage of spring weather. Too bad it won't last. Go Mavs.

One More Quick Note

Crazy Michael Jackson went to court today in his housepants.

The Smokey Lady

There is a lady who works in my office building who I call the smokey lady. Any time of day, she can be found just outside the front door smoking. I just went down the hall to the restroom, and there she was, smoking. I don't know what her job is. I think her job is to smoke. She is always there. Smoking. It is a little sad.

Last night I went to the Sierra Club meeting. First of all, I have to tell you that they have the meetings at the Greenhill School in Addison. I think I would have liked going to this school. It has a nice courtyard, and when I walked through said courtyard last night, I'll be damned if there weren't two giant peacocks and three pea-hens just walking around like they owned the place. They were so cool looking. Then they started talking, which was a little creepy, as their call sounds very much like a little girl saying, "help me, help me." The courtyard at my high school only had grackles.

The meeting was interesting. There were three speakers. A very pompous dude from the EPA ( I think all the Sierra club members were suspicious of him), a nice geo-physicist man, and an environmental lobbyist named "Smitty." Most of their talk was over my head...a little too science-y. But they did make their point very clear. We are headed toward a very bad, very real energy crisis if we don't do something quick-like. This isn't left-wing propaganda, or hippy tree-hugger mumbo jumbo. This is science. So I am on board. Renewable energy is the way, and I have some letters to write this weekend to some State Senators and so forth. I was happy to learn that the wind turbine people have been working closely with the bird people to design windmills that won't hurt the birds. You see, most of the wind in East Texas comes in from the Gulf Coast, so they have to put the turbines there, and millions, maybe billions, of birds migrate back and forth on the same path. Anyway, the scientists have it all figured out, how not to hurt the birds. Guess what else gets blown into DFW via the Gulf winds? Smoke from something like 30 (or did he say 130?) coal plants between here and Houston. Coal is bad for people. It is dirty. Wind, which I admit I have personal difficulties with, mainly because of my hair, is good for people. It is clean. So, support wind and renewable energy and hybrid cars! And turn off your lights and stuff too.

Two nights ago, we watched Super-Size me. We were both disturbed. Kev was so much so that he went to the kitchen and got us a big bowl of grapes to eat while we watched it. Then, the next day, I ate at Bennigan's and he ordered a pizza. How quickly we forget. I do have to say, though, that I only ate one wedge of my Monte Christo sandwhich. I won't tell you how many slices of pizza Kev ate.

Probably this will be my last blog for a while. Kev's parents are due to land at DFW in about 20 minutes, and we have a full agenda while they're here. There is going to be lots of fun, and maybe even pie! See you next week.

American Kestrel...N. America's smallest falcon.  

Wednesday Night is Activism Night

After work I am going to another Sierra Club meeting. This one is all about renewable energy. We have been considering changing over to Green Mountain energy at our house, and I am hoping tonight's meeting will give me some insight so we can make an informed decision. I am really tired though, and I have had a non-stop headache since I woke up this morning, so I hope I can pay attention.

Bird of the Day: Most of the birds that hang out on the wires near my office building are pigeons, however there is also a pair of American Kestrels that must be nesting around here. I saw them today in the parking lot. American Kestrels are COOL. They are very small birds of prey with interesting markings. Very pretty birds. I will try to post a picture from home later.

Here is something that bothers me, and since I am lately very irritable, it has been bothering me even more. It is when people say the word "is" twice in a row, for example, "The thing is is that..." That can't be grammatically correct, can it? If it is, somebody please set me straight. Otherwise, people need to stop saying it. I also hate the words "dollop" and "unfurl." I am shuddering now at the thought of those horrible words. A fun word to say is "bedraggled." My friend Bryce hates the word "compote." It is fun to say that word around him. My other friend Ken is freaked out completely if you put your mouth on an empty paper towel roll tube and blow like a horn, or even just talk through it. He runs screaming from the room. Today when I woke up with a headache, I told Kev that my Kryptonite is dust (which is what I think caused the headache), but he said I already have too many Kryptonites and I can't have any more.

Cedar Waxwing 

Javier is Missing

Javier is a nice man. He has been our lawn care-taker for three years. He takes the winter off. Now it is spring, and Kev's parents are coming, and the lawn could use a nice mowing. So Kev called Javier. And Javier is gone! I am sad. I hope Javier is OK. If he went back to Mexico, I hope it is because he wanted to, and not because he had to. I thought things were going well for Javier last fall. He just bought a new truck. I will miss Javier. And now we have a family dilemma. Should we find a new lawn man? Should we buy a mower? What to do? Plus the yard looks pretty bad, and we have company coming in two days.

I was thinking of trying to take advantage of the latest reality/designing trend and start a show about cubicles, where people who work really hard get surprised a team of designers to help them make over their boring cubicles into fabulous cubilcles and it makes them happy and is good for company morale. Who's with me? I am taking suggestions for the name of the show. The cornier, the better, I say.

One thing I hate about my office and most offices is flourescent lighting. It makes my eyes hurt and makes my skin look green. All the people on my new show would get natural lighting lamps in their cubicles.

Bird of the day: The cedar wax-wing. This is the Fonz of the bird world. Look for them in large flocks in high trees. They are small and yellow-ish, with a black mask and a crest (like a cardinal or blue-jay). They have a shrill and quiet "song." They like berries, and will come down lower to eat them. When I get home I will try to find a picture of one to post. A very cool-looking bird.

A Case of the Mondays

I watched Office Space again last night. So funny. And according to Kev, not really that far from the truth. Sometimes, I wonder if I would be happier if I could just sit in a cublicle all day generating TPS reports. A nice mindless task. If I had a cubicle, I would decorate it with cool stuff. Probably a Tibetan-style cubicle...lots of orange, maybe some shiny pillows. Are candles allowed in cubicles? Or maybe I'd go Asian. A Feng Shui cublicle. Lot's of light green and bamboo. Hmm...

I am blogging at work, which is risky as it usually causes my computer to shut down. But I was supposed to be having an evaluation now, and it had to re-sched because the kid is sick, and I have a conference soon that I am nervous about so I am blogging to keep from nervousing.

Question: What has become of Blogalicious? Gone to horseheadfairyland, I suppose.

On behalf of Kev: Ultra-Pointy-Toed shoes are bad.

What I learned on the weekend: Sometimes even pancakes can't make one happy. Gardening requires using muscles different from those used in every-day life. There are ladies out there who consider themselves part of the amateur "pie circuit." They have names like Phillis and Nadine. Kev likes lemon meringue pie. I never knew that.

Bird talk: Migration is nigh upon us!

Band talk: The Blue Christmas song has taken a Hawaiian turn. Should be fun to record.

Well, enough stalling. Better go prepare myself for this conference. Happy Monday.

Hey Mambo!

I usually try to avoid going to Central Market on the weekends. Especially if I need anything from the butcher or fishmonger. It's a beating when the store is crowded. But sometimes, like this week, my schedule dictates that the only time I can go is on Saturday. I have found that if you get there before about 9:30, it isn't too bad, and that was the case this morning. Not crowded at all. So, I got my coffee and enjoyed my shopping. My only complaint about CM is that for some reason, they put the meat and fish near the beginning of the path. I think it should be at the end. Today I had to get chicken and shrimp, so I felt like I had to hurry through the rest of the store. I got to go through Mambo's line today. He is my favorite checker. He is from Africa and he is very nice, plus his name is Mambo. I think that is cool. He always makes me think of the "Hey Mambo" scene from Big Night. I am very curious to know Mambo's back-story. He seems kind of sad. I always help him bag the groceries. I like doing it. I think maybe if I had a past life, I might have been a bag-boy, because I am good at it. Mambo isn't so good at it. He mixes things that shouldn't be mixed.

The other night I watched a show about this wacky American Explorer guy who decides he is going to canoe the length of the Limpopo River in southern Africa because of a Rudyard Kipling story he read when he was a kid, and because he likes saying the word "Limpopo." So he hires a guy from Zimbabwe named Bonus to be his guide/translator, and they set off, but since the American guy fears the summer heat and malaria, they go in winter, which is the dry season. So they end up having to walk and carry the canoe a lot because the river is dried up in many places. They get to see cool stuff like hippos and rhinos, giraffes, elephants, crocodiles, and lots of cool birds. But they are pretty beaten down. I learned that in Africa, some people eat stew made from chicken heads and feet. The stew is called "Scratchin' and Talkin'". At the end, Bonus gets to finally see the ocean for the first time in his life. That part was good.

Today I learned from my bi-lingual shampoo bottle that the Spanish word for "daily" is "diaria." How do you think Peggy Hill would pronounce that word? (Uh-huh-huh.)

On the way to CM, KERA taught me about a film they used to show in elementary schools in the 1950's to promote science. I will paraphrase the script for you:

A typical 50's family is camping.
Son: (looking up at the stars) I am going to learn about science. I am going to go to the moon. My sister doesn't have to learn science. When she grows up, she will hook a guy.
Daughter: What's wrong with that?
Mother: Nothing, dear. You don't need science to be a home-maker.
Father: But what if Mr. Right doesn't come along right away? If she learns science, she could be a dental hygeinist or a nurse!

Oh, the lofty ideas of the 50's!

Enjoy the weekend.

Blah Blah Blog

Greetings. A week has gone by since my last blog, and it seems like only a day. I am actually really busy at work, which I am not used to. Don't get me wrong, it's good that things are picking up. It's just a lot of extra paperwork and prep-time, and I was used to just sort of coasting thru each day. Anyway, things will settle down again soon, and I will be able to turn off the constant thoughts of autism and stuttering and so forth that are constantly going through my head lately. And I can get back to thinking about birds and Alaska and other pleasant things.

Note to Sirius radio programmers: "Bring on the Dancing Horses" is not Echo and the Bunnymen's only song.

Skunk smell update: Albert is smelling good these days. When I got to may parents' house this morning, he greeted me with such genuine excitement and enthusiasm that I almost cried. Albert is good.

PPHPHB update: If you want to hear our latest effort, you can check it out on Nowhereradio.com. It is called three piece suite (part III), and features Kev's new accordian. I play cello, which you probably won't notice, and violin (pizz.). Everything else is Kev. I like the song. It reminds me of some kind of Audrey Hepburn movie theme. Our next project involves Kev's dad, who is coming to town next week. We think we are going to have him sing Blue Christmas. We are probably gonna need the help of our previous guest vocalists for some back-up, but the arrangement is still in the works. Thanks for continuing to support the PPHPHB!

Bird update: The grackles and cowbirds are in charge. Tip: Grackles don't care much for safflower seed, but it is a little pricier than the sunflower mix. Last night I had a dream about some big puffy blue birds. I wish they were real. They were cool.

Oscar talk: The show was very boring, Chris Rock was mediocre, sweaty Antonio Banderas was HORRIBLE, and Beyonce didn't need to be marched out there three times. Best part was Yoyo-Ma, and that Morgan Freeman and Jamie Foxx were winners. I recommend documentary nominee "The Story of the Weeping Camel" to people who like good movies, because it is good.

I am looking forward to the weekend. Maybe, just maybe, there will be pancakes.

Waiting for the Laundry to Dry

Sounds like a new hit for Travis Tritt, doesn't it? But that's what I'm doing on this rainy Thursday morning. Looked at birds for a while...lots of woodpeckers out back, and lots of finches in the front. The birds seems a little on edge...very fiesty and territorial lately.
While I was enjoying my morning coffee, I opened up the blue ValPak envelope from yesterday's mail to see if there were any good coupons. Just the usual...Empire Dry Cleaner, Nuevo Leon, Tree Doctor, etc., and then...AAARGHHH! A coupon for "Lakewood's Friendliest Dentist...Dr. Todd Calvin." On the coupon, it actually says," He loves children and they love him." Gross. I'll bet ValPak is gonna get some phone calls for this faux pas.

The PPHPHB has been hard at work lately. Poor Kev, having to deal with me as his only other band member. I have limited patience for doing take after take, and I am easily discouraged by the fact that I can't play my instruments very well. My abilities unfortunately don't match his vision for the way the songs are supposed to sound. But, in spite of that, the latest song is sounding pretty good.

I want to say that everyone should try watching Scientific American Frontiers on Wednesday nights on PBS. Last night, Alan Alda took us all around to learn about hydrogen as an energy source. It was very interesting and exciting. People should really pay more attention to the scientists of the world.

I got to see American Idol last night. I am going on the record and saying I like American Idol. It isn't great TV, but it's good to get a break from war and disater and murder and stuff. I think at this early stage, I like the Moon River guy. But I haven't really seen much of the performance part of the show. That Ryan Seacrest, as Kev put it, is "a soul-less bastard in a yellow suit." I think that dude who got kicked off last got a bad deal. It was just mean they way they did it. That kind of manufactured drama isn't going to boost ratings.

Laundry is done, and I need to start getting ready to go to work. Still waiting for those get rich ideas...