Problem Theory

Today during chores I started to develop a theory about why I am starting to go a little insane. I think part of the problem is that about 85-90% of my conversational partners are little kids. Not even normal little kids, but little kids with all kinds of speech and language issues. Here are some examples of typical daily interactions I have:

E: (E. has Asperger's Syndrome) UGH!!! (E. stomps into the room and puts his head down on table).

Me: How was your day, E.?

E: Not so good.

Me: Why?

E: Well, the zoo visit was kinda tiring.

Me: Oh, you went to the zoo! Cool. Who did you go with?

E: Oh, my little brother and sister.

(We talk about the zoo for a minute)

E: (Pulling his hair and grimacing): CAN-WE-JUST-STOP-TALKING-ABOUT-THIS-NOW!!! (Puts head down dramatically on the table)

Me: E., when you said that, your face looked like this (I grimace) AND-YOUR-VOICE-SOUNDED-LIKE-THIS!!! When people see that, they might think you are angry or mean. I know you, and I know you are just tired, but when you talk to me like that it still hurts my feelings. We were just talking about the zoo, and then you yelled at me. That is pretty, uh...

E: Disrespectful.

Me: Yeah. When you talk to other kids like that, they might think you are mean, and not want to be your friend.

E: Well, I have about 10 million friends so it doesn't matter. Do you know I found three snakes at my house?

(E. has no friends by the way.)

_______

C: (Autism) I want that one.

Me: Which one?

C. I want that one (points to top of cabinet).

Me: There are lots of toys up there, C. Which one do you want?

C. I want that one I want that one.

Me: You want the heilcopter, or the bubbles, or...

C. I want that one helicopter.

Me: OK. Tell me if you can't reach it.

C. You can't reach it.

Me: Tell your mom, say I can't reach it.

C. I can't reach it.

Me: I can reach the helicopter. I'll get it down for you.

C. Oh dear, we'll have to do it again.

Me: Do what again?

C: Oh dear, we'll have to do it again. Oh dear, we'll have to do it again. Oh dear, we'll have to do it again.

etc. This session ends with C. having a complete meltdown on the floor because he doesn't want to give me a turn with the helicopter.

_______

Then there is J. who can't talk at all. He only says ma-ma-ma-ma. He is five. He spends a lot of time under the table or turning the lights off and on.

I love my kids, but I would give anything to have a grown-up conversation during my work day. I am worried about my brain.